A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since you can answer anonymously pls answer these questions so i can include your answers in a paper I'm writing for my Sociology class. I need the answers to be from people who actually did it or are doing it.What made you stalk your ex? How long did you stalk your ex? Did your ex find out and how did she react and you react? Did you stop staling your ex? Why did you stop stalking your ex or why can't you stop stalking your ex? Did your stalking lead to a physical violation onto your ex? Are there any forces that can stop you from stalking?Thanks for all answers!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): What about stalking your partners ex? Just mild cyber stalking. Because she is a complete mystery to me and she is also very threatening in a way. Im not proud I wouldnt want my man to know the extent of my curiousity of his most recent ex. But stalking an ex of my own no way. I avoid reminders of what is lost. So if it hurt to lose I couldnt handle evenn being in the same building for a while. But I can imagine some pretty stalker-like behavior coming out of me if he were giving me mixed signals. I dont know what kind of signals but I guess anything that led me to believe there was room for intepretation of what "not together" means. But that is unlikely I can take a hint. But getting caught would embarrass and shame me into never visiting any page related to her unreasonably often again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): I think everyone stalks to a degree, it's just not necessarily physical. Does facebook stalking count?If you feel inclined to "stalk" someone, it just means you can't accept them being out of your life on some level, so you force some sort of contact even if it's unwanted. I say everyone does it, because everyone keeps tabs on old partners, you ask their friends how they are doing and you check their faceboook status. Most people just don't let it get to the point of physical confrontation.The stalkiest thing I've don: while driving on route to somewhere, I would often purposely detour by the guy's house I had recently broken it off with. I wasn't over him, even though I tried to pretend I was. It's not like I knocked on his door, rang his doorbell, and I ever intended to. I didn't even stop or slow down. I hadn't called him in weeks, but for some reason I felt compelled to see if his car was in the driveway or not. It didn't even make me feel better.He never found out and I never told him or anyone else about it.I stopped doing it when I got bored.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): I have like a few of the others been stalked so I can help a little....What made you stalk your ex?The fact that I refused to get into a relationship with him and cut all contactHow long did you stalk your ex?It was for around 3 monthsDid your ex find out and how did she react and you react?I went to the police and he tried to persuade me that he was innocentDid you stop staling your ex?He did after I went to the police about itWhy did you stop stalking your ex or why can't you stop stalking your ex?As above :)Did your stalking lead to a physical violation onto your ex?No just verbal abuseAre there any forces that can stop you from stalking?The police have stopped him.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Does cyber stalking count? Oh wait, I've not done that either.
Actually, I've never stalked anyone, but I've been stalked by an ex. Maybe these answers will help. I don't know, but I found this interesting.
"What made you stalk your ex?"
A bad break up. We had a very intense relationship. Lots of breaking up and getting back together. Wild and frequent sex. When I finally had enough, I had to sever all ties. She didn't like that. She started showing up at my house, and my parents would run interference. She'd follow me to friends' houses, where I would hide from her. She even chased my friend who was driving us around because she saw me in the passenger seat. As exciting as a high speed chase can be, that's never something you want to be the cause of either.
"How long did you stalk your ex?"
She stalked me for a good 6 months. She then claimed to be pregnant with my baby, even though there was never any proof of her being pregnant or the baby being mine. At least none that was provided to me.
"Did your ex find out and how did she react and you react?"
I find it insulting that you say "how did SHE react." Like women can't be stalkers. I found out because my ex wasn't covert about it. I constantly needed people to run interference. It also solidified to me just how psycho she actually was. She didn't react well to these interferences. She wanted to run my life and would not admit things were over.
"Did you stop stalking your ex?"
Yes, she did. She eventually gave up, but it was after meeting with a social worker over the supposed pregnancy. She had the social worker on her side until they talked to me. Then the subject was dropped. IF she had been pregnant and had my baby, I would have fought tooth and nail for full custody. I would never want my child raised by such a disjointed individual.
"Why did you stop stalking your ex or why can't you stop stalking your ex?"
She stopped stalking me because of the social worker meeting and because she met someone new to focus her energies on. I was grateful when I heard she had hooked up with someone else. It was a huge burden off of me and my girlfriend, who my ex also harrassed on multiple occasions. Calling a restaurant while we were out to dinner asking for her and then calling her horrific things. Complaining her to her boss at work...
"Did your stalking lead to a physical violation onto your ex?"
No. I did debate taking out a restraining order, but being that we were both minors, and in school, that wasn't possible.
"Are there any forces that can stop you from stalking?"
Not really. If someone wants to do it, they will. Even a restraining order has distance limitations (at least in the states). Stalkers can be very good at keeping everything legal even though their behavior is beyond creepy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Hello. I stalk my ex and my obsssed by him. I cannot stop myslef from calling him as I still love him and am jealous that he may find someon else. If I do not conact him for a couple of weeks, he contact anyway. I am addicted to him, and I hate it. I am trying at the moment very hard not to contact him. My satlking just takes the form of texting and calling. I don;t go to his house or anything. I know I am the only one who can stop myself from doing this, but am finding it hard to manage my feelings for him. I don't think he would define it as stalking. We actually saw eachother a couple of weeks back, and the same feelings were there ( well at least for me) so I guess I am not doing myslef any favours by contacting him. He said he wnated us to see each other again. I know he is no good for me. I have to stop.x
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