A
male
,
anonymous
writes: I've just split from my gf and now realise that I ditched all my mates for her. I called them but they've all got new lives and don't want to know.I'm 18 and have no mates or social life. I'm no good at making new friends either! What shud I do, Cupid? cheers. Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (25 May 2006):
Ooh, tough blow. I'm sorry.
Your mates are probably still a little ticked at you for making out that their friendship was less important to you than your girl. How long were you with her? How long have you been friends with your mates? Maybe they have a reason to be annoyed... wouldn't you be, if the shoe had been on the other foot?
This is one of those nasty 'Lessons' people have to experience in order to learn.
If you've only just split from your girl, then give your mates some time -- maybe a couple of weeks, or a month -- to come around. You might help things along if you ring up the friend you're closest to, and apologise. Just say something like that you've only just realised you were putting your mates second, and you're sorry. It's not that hard, and even if they sniff at your words outwardly, they probably secretly want to hear you admit it. You don't have to go all 'girly' about saying you're sorry, but you'd be the bigger person to say so.
Give them a bit of a chance to come around to your new, single status, and keep inviting them out from time to time. It mightn't ever be exactly the same as before (they probably have girlfriends and other things in their lives since), but good friends won't give you up if you're sincere.
Hope this helps.
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