A
female
age
30-35,
*ls2016
writes:Hi everyone! Me and my boyfriend of 10 years split last weekend. He has been off with me for a couple of weeks but I just thought he was struggling with stress being back at work and being a teacher. There is a lot of back story to this.. we’ve been trying to have a baby for over 7 years without luck. Late last year, we went through IVF and successfully made 4 strong embryos which are now frozen. The build up to IVF has been a real battle for me as there are BMI restrictions and I had to loose and maintain weight throughout the whole year. After IVF, it felt like a massive relief for me having 4 embryos banked and it all went downhill from there. I gained a little bit of weight again taking my BMI up above the limits again for our embryo transfer. This meant I needed to loose weight again. This year, I have not been myself. Since IVF I feel like a different person, I’ve been battling with anxiety and depression. He has left me because I haven’t seeked any help for my issues mentally and because he has been waiting for me to get my BMI down again. He feels like he’s been waiting and there’s nothing he can do. He told me he’s not attracted me to me anymore and that he never has space from me as im always at home. (I work from home most days). I have completely lost myself through trying to have a baby, it’s suffocated our relationship. We hardly did things together, haven’t been on holiday since pre-Covid. We just haven’t had a break from life / trying to have a baby in general so we’ve been consumed by it all. I feel like he has run away because it’s the easiest option. He keeps saying to me that I need to decide what I want to do with the house so he wants out completely. But I just can’t understand how he can throw everything away like this and not even try and give us space to work on ourselves and let me sort myself out. I want to try and work on our relationship and am willing to do anything but he’s not giving me any chance. How can he walk away from 10 years together without even trying to give us a chance to work on our relationship. I feel so helpless and lost, I am now on antidepressants and seeking therapy for myself. Do you think he is trying to show me that I need help by doing this or do you think he is running away because it’s the easiest option?
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