A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Been seeing this guy for almost 2 years now, and we weren't facebook friends until after 10 month, not until I realized it would also be nice to somewhat "show off and basically show recognition for this guy that I love". Long story short, at 12 months he tagged me to a relationship status and changed his profile picture to us two.However, when we fight I noticed he would change his profile pic but keep his relationship status up.Most recent fight, he took down our profile pic, and now we are doing okay and I asked him if he can put it up again. He just ignores this. I just feel secured knowing he has our pic up, it shows recognition also peace of mind because at some point before I saw him talking to other girls (that issue sorted out now). How do I make him understand this? I dont want to think he is cheating or still wants to keep his options open, especially that we will start LDR this summer.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2015): It sounds to me as if he uses this photo on facebook as a punishment. If you're in his good books he puts it up, but if he's angry with you, he takes it down. Passive/aggressive. It's his way of letting you know how he feels and also a way of controlling/punishing you. He knows how much you care about it. The question in my mind would be, why is it still not up there? And why is he ignoring you're requests to put it back up? There is a definite message being conveyed to you. He may like the power it has over your feelings and making you insecure may be fun for him. I don't think you'll get anywhere with an honest heart to heart because he doesn't sound as if he will partake in one. If you feel this insecure and worried now, it won't get any better when you're farther away from each other. If he was mature and cared for your feelings, you wouldn't be having these worries or these feelings. He would try to make you feel happy and secure.
Only you can decide what to do about it though. At the moment it sounds like more fretting than fun.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 March 2015):
 I do not have my husband on my facebook profile. He's not even ON facebook... i'm not cheating.
Facebook has nothing to do with cheating.
do you trust him? if you don't trust him then there is no need to continue the relationship. trust is crucial.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 March 2015):
 If he is going to cheat he will cheat any time he thinks he can get away with it.
Guys intent on cheating are very good at telling lies and feel no shame when they do cheat.
A guy who feels he has no choice but to cheat will be more secretive about some things with you.
Honourable guys do not cheat.
If he has no intention of cheating then he will be more open with you. He will tell you if anyone comes on to him. He will be open with you about how much you mean to him.
He will go out of his way to be lovely to you at all times.
He will never be evasive with you, except when he has a nice birthday present that he does not want you to find before the big day.
His playing musical chairs with his profile picture sounds a little immature to me.
Being very open and discussing things openly might strengthen your relationship or it might expose cracks that become chasms.
If there is not enough trust for you to talk openly about these things then it does not auger well for a long term relationship WITH him.
If you are still feeling very stressed then consider some counselling to put things into perspective.
But if there are some cracks already then an LDR will start to make things even worse if he is not really as into you as you might like him to be
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