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Son found nude photos of me

Tagged as: Family, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2022) 7 Answers - (Newest, 11 May 2022)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My 14-year-old son recently came across some pictures of me that his father took of me back when we were teens.we have been together for a long time and got married when I was pregnant with my son. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with baseball cards and other adolescent memories. The problem is that the pictures are nude shots! You can’t really tell that the pictures are of me, as my appearance has changed pretty dramatically since then my hair color change, weight difference, boobs, etc. My son came to me really worried with the concern that his father was potentially hoarding teenage porn. I didn’t directly tell him that the pictures were of me, but assured him that his father didn’t look at or keep teenage porn and that I would speak to him about it. But should I be more direct? Which is worse, thinking your father has kiddie porn or knowing that you just saw a teen version of your mother naked?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2022):

ok.its either a weird 20 second talk or a lifetime of your son thinking your dad is a weirdo.you make the choice.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2022):

Rather than allowing your son to assume the worst about his own father, come clean. So what if it's you? He's not a little child.

The sooner you confess, this will be over.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2022):

You've unfortunately got to face the awkwardness of telling your son the truth, sorry to say.

He'd never trust his dad again otherwise.

The hardest part is having the awkward conversation but then it's all over and you can rest easy that you've done the right thing.

Best of luck and sorry to hear this happened :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2022):

My opinion might differ. But what is wrong with nudity? My son has seen me naked. It is no big deal. At least the pics were of you, and not some other woman or women or the unthinkable. It is perfectly natural to take naked pics within the confines of a relationship. Nudity is not a sin and the human body is nothing to be ashamed of.

Simply tell him the pictures were of you when you were pregnant and laugh it off! Tell him the truth. He is not a little child. He is probably much more capable of understanding this than you give him credit for. Why are you making a huge deal out of this? There are way worse things in the world to make a big deal out of.

Like a sex tape? Adultery? etc? Do you think your son does not hear you have sex with your husband? Think again. Would you be embarrassed about that too? You cannot shield your son from the world. He knows more than you think. If this is your only "problem," consider yourself fortunate.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2022):

kenny agony auntI think than rather than letting your son think his father is a pervert you should step up to the plate and just be honest with him and tell him the pictures are of you and were taken by his father many years ago.

Ok he should not have looked into the box, assuming the box was in your bedroom. But at the end of the day this has happened, he has seen the pictures, unfortunately we can't unscramble scrambled eggs so all you can do is be honest and tell him the truth.

You son really needs to know the truth, he can't go on thinking these negative thoughts about his father.

Next time store things like this in a better hiding place, or get a lock and key box.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2022):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou would rather your son thought your husband/his dad was some sort of pervert than owning up to the nude pics being of you, taken by his dad when you were both in a loving relationship? While I totally get you may be embarrassed about sharing this with your son, the cat is already out of the bag as he has seen the pictures. Your job now, as a mother and wife, is to minimalize the fall out from this incident and that is not by lying to your son and jeopardizing his relationship with his father.

Step up and be the adult. Then put the pictures (and any other similar ones you may have) somewhere safe where they can only be viewed with permission.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 April 2022):

Honeypie agony aunt"Which is worse, thinking your father has kiddie porn or knowing that you just saw a teen version of your mother naked?"

The first. Hands down.

What I would have a chat with your son about is WHY he went through stuff that isn't his to go through. And perhaps ask him what made him think that his dad could be a perv.

But I would also say that I think it was GOOD that your son came to you, with something like this (regardless of him not really having ANY right to go through that box) - it means you and your son have good communication.

You two can obviously talk, so talk to your son. And hide that kind of pics better, maybe a lockbox?

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