A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hello, here is my problem: it might not even be a problem, but I need opinions. This guy I'm dating (we are kind of in the stage where we haven't official decided if we are bf/gf, but most likely) is also a basketball coach for girls ages 13/14. We are both 21. It's kind of hard to describe, but all he talks about is his team. He talks to some of the girls online, and they take "team" trips to places like the movies and out to eat. It just really weirds me out because sometimes he talks like he likes the girls, and not in a mentor or coach type way. I don't know if I should say something to him because I don't want him to be offended if that is the case, but what should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (22 January 2006):
 I would say you do have to proceed gingerly with this one. It is highly likely he will be offended if this isnt handled carefully. It may well be that he feels parental/brotherly to these girls and is thus protective and the way he talks about them may reflect this. Does he have blood sisters?
Obviously this team is also his pet project and as something he has responsibility he will naturally be proud. Rather than couch this directly I would suggest that, while allowing him some space to talk about the team, you try and subtly guide the conversation elsewhere and see what happens.
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