A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I am 23 and my boyfriend is 42.We have been together almost 2 years.He is divorced with no children.When we met we became great friends and gradually got together..we are now living together and things are great.However, when people ask how old my boyfriend is and i tell them, there is always raised eyebrows and 'disapproving'looks. Which makes me feel like i am doing something wrong. People ask what will happen when i am in my 50's..and he is in his 70's? I havent really thought about this as for the moment i am happy.Regarding children..we do want them but not yet as i feel i am too young.Sometimes i feel i should end the relationshop purely because of the age difference..but then i would be so unhappy and miss him.My parents get along with him great, although my brother is not happy about the age gap. What do people think?
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female
reader, anewwe  +, writes (4 January 2008):
I am in the same boat babe! I'm 22(female) my wonderfully sweet lover is 41 and we have been togather for about a year now. We have lived togather and done the long distance thing. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if we decided to become life partners..the age difference can be a little scary. But we communicate with each other about our feelings. Neither of our parents know about our relationship and I am really scared to tell them.
BUT WOMAN! Do NOT brake up with him because of such a silly thing as age! Noo! Let those feelings pass. They probably will always come back to the surface and we will all be scratching our heads, but stay with him and live out the love that you have for each other to its fullest. But dont get stuck either. You are defenitaly not alone in your thoughts.
love
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): its a little more to it than 2 people being "in love". Thats hollywood movie stuff...she doesnt want kids and he does. Its life experience factor (however age and life experience is more often than not closely related). Its MUCH harder to get on the same page as far as goals and desires when 2 people are in 2 different places. Its the kids thing that will put the strain on this relationship. I guarantee it.
J
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A
male
reader, Diimo +, writes (23 December 2007):
 In many parts of the world a 15 year to 30 year age difference is considered the norm. Only in the West does the notion that its too much of an age gap exist. Imagine being from Eastern Europe and how dissaproving families there are of dating someone your own age range! If you love each other and are happy then stick with it because that can be real hard to find. Tell your brother to get over it or take a hike..lol. Everyone should be approving of you having happiness in a relationship if they truly love you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): I am genuinely surprised people comment because it is pretty common for age gaps to exist - there are many famous couples as role models for the fact an age gap can work well. Is he a young 40 something? You may be a mature minded 20 something! The point is you are in love... and views like that are only important if you feel insecure. Maybe you need to make your relationship more solid and discuss ways to dispel, as a couple, any backstabbing that goes on. As people see your happiness they will accept things. People expect neat parcels but lets face it... if you scratch the surface of most peoples lives there are things that don't fit the 'norm'. If you 100% happy and are not feeling doubts yourself then these things should not bother you for long. I wish you well. I have always found the mature male an attractive prospect :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): If you're truely are happy than stick with it, but theres one thing you said that cant go unnoticed. You said that you dont want kids because you feel you're too young. Keep in mind that hes in his 40s..the clock is ticking for him. He may not want to be 60 years old by the time his kids are teenagers. This is the real issue when he age differences are great. You are in 2 different points in your life and want totally different things. Where you are, hes already been years ago, and the things he wants, you wont care abouut for several years to come...and what about a social life? Does he want to hang out with your 20 year old friends at the nightclub? Do you want go out with his 40/50 year old pals and discuss their plans for retirment and future social security benefits? Age always matters, not because of the number but because of life experience. That being said, its not impossible to work it out..if you're really happy just work around these issues (although the children thing can be a tough one)
Good luck
J
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): Sweetheart, you get on with your own life and do not worry about what other people think. Alot of other people cannot find happiness and may even be jealous because you have. If someone can put that smile on your face on a regular basis I say continue and enjoy what you have and keep loving the man you are with and move forward and stop this nonsense of wanting to split up because of what the outsiders think you should do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): My daughter's dad is 40 and I am 28, it isn't as much of an age difference however, it's some years in between. The most important thing is you're both happy. Of course, family members will have something to say about it but your feelings is what counts the most. You're the one dating him, not them. I can truly understand how you feel about the age difference but is there something more to that than age? Some women date older men because the men can take care of the women. Basically, security/financial issues. Anyhow, don't pay attention to what other people think. If it ain't broken, why fix it?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): I think you like the attention of the people when you tell them his age. If you find his age to be so unimportant why do you go and tell everyone his age?
The only problem is that he might become very jealous of you for being so young and attractive and might not let you do things appropriate to your age and you might end up frustrated. The majority of times that happens when you date or marry much older men.
Other than that I only see people raising eyebrows because they are discriminating because of his age.
At 23 one can be very inmature yet. But if you are sure he is loving and respectful towards women in general (this is very important), energetic, has the same goals as you and is not manipulative in any way you should stay with him and understand people will ALWAYS be judgemental towards everything you do and you don't came to this world to please anybody but to learn to be in peace with God and to make a life of your own.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (22 December 2007):
 Huni why break both of your hearts over what other people think finding someone you connect with (and who your parents like) is hard. Its about you, do you want to break up with him, can you live with the fact that you dumped a guy over age, why care about what other people think this is your choice your happiness sod anyone else what do they know, follow your heart
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A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal +, writes (22 December 2007):
 well thats sort of tuff for you, cuz if u leave him and go out with another person youll miss your current bf if you stick with you current bf people will dissaprove you and him. the best thing to do is to probably just stick with him, because of what you wriiten it seems you really like him. dont mind what people say because its what you think no them. i hope you make the right decision and hae a happy ending
gd luckxxxx
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