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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I just started having sex and I have no idea what to do or what positions to be in to make myself have an orgasm :/ It starts to hurt after a while because it's just not good for me...I dry up and so does the condom...I want to make it good for him too but I don't know how! Please help me and give me some good tips so I can enjoy sex, cause I know I'm missing out!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (2 May 2005):
 He's probably going in too soon and too fast, because he's ready and doesn't realise that you're not. You need to discuss this with your boyfriend and let him know in no uncertain terms what you like, so that you can enjoy the experience the way he does.Women - when compared to men! - take ages to get aroused. Some men don't really understand this and want to go straight for the "meat and potatoes" of penetrative sex right away. This can be particularly true with young and inexperienced men. Well, who can blame them, really? Sex is usually great, full stop, if you're a man.Women sometimes have to work a bit harder at it, as you're finding. So, show him and tell him what gets you hot. Oral sex is usually a very good starting point and when your boyfriend realises how much it delights you, he'll probably want to do it often.Try reading erotica or watching porn before you have sex (oh, go on, give it a chance!) and go out and buy some lube. That can do wonders. The thing that will make it best for him is if you're thoroughly enjoying yourself... and letting him know about it. So do anything that feels good to you, and be sure that you tell him when he's doing something you enjoy.Have fun!
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