A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I fancy this guy i work with i fell for him the minute i met him but someone told him i fancied him and we dont really speak anymore he use to smile at me a lot now he does nothing i dont know what ive done i dont think he fancies me at all i wish i could get over him because if he liked me he would of told me so i want to know why hes treating me like dirt i think i could be in love with him because i feel so strongly about him and its never happened to me before
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): First off, him not speaking to you and not smiling is not exacly treating you like dirt. It may be that he is just a little embarassed to hear that you fancy him and he is trying to just remain professional since you work together.
You don't love a guy you don't really know yet, you are infatuated with him and that is it. You are projecting onto him the qualities that you hope he has and you are physically attracted, but love? No. That takes time and really spending time getting to know someone and developing a deep friendship that has caught on fire.
Just back off and act normally to him. Give him some time and I am sure that he will smile back at you. Try speaking to him your self and don't be bothered if you only get a few grunts.
What are your choices really? He may not be interested in dating you for a number of reasons, like maybe he thinks it is a bad idea to date a work colleague....that would be a big one in my book if I cared about my job or career advancement.
Take care, and get your mind on something else and you will feel better. No big deal....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): Seems like he is awkward hearing that you feel about him in a way he does not feel in return.
You have 2 choices, you can apologize to him privately and explain that if he doesn't feel the same way it's okay and you both can move on and still be friends like before.
Or, you can just learn from this and let him and the friendship go altogether, and try to maintain professional at work.
The work is a horrible place to try to start a romance, and it only works in movies.
In real life it is a disaster.
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