A
female
age
51-59,
*hatamidoing?
writes:I don't know what I am doing. I have been with the same man for almost 20 years. We have been married for 13. We have 2 children. Although I had a couple of minor flings before I was married (as did my husband) I haven't even been close to doing anything since we got married. I recently happened to get in contact with one of those old flings. Totally innocent and it never even crossed my mind that anything would come of it. We had been friends after the fling and my husband even knows that we are friends. We lost contact for quite awhile, though. Well one flirty text message has turned into many and we are discussing the possibility of going to a hotel. I don't even recognize myself. I am so disappointed in myself. The corny thing is that I am a church goer and totally think that cheating is a sin. If my husband was doing this, I would be devastated. I just can't seem to stop texting him and thinking about him. The bad thing is that he is also married and has 2 kids. How do I get him out of my mind?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): You need to forget that guy. It will be very hard for you when something was already done wrong in your marriage life..trust me, i knew it, i was been in a situation before and i went to a wrong decision. Now im suffering from guilt ( i couldnt tell to my husband bcoz i know he will not totally understand me, im afraid to loose him),..i hope you will be on a right track. Goodluck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Hey,
delete his number! Your an independant woman , and are alowed to have friends but as your relationship with this old fling progress' it may be the reason for a ruined marriage.
Although if you have the confedence in yourself not to let it get out of hand, and you are simply having a laugh then i dont see the problem.
Your the one in control and im sure you will make the right decision.
Xxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (23 October 2007):
 I don't know what you're doing either.
Remember, being a church goer. Temptation is out there. It's presented to you on a silver platter, taking it is what? Submitting yourself to temptation. Your challenge is to overcome temptation. I'm tempted all the time, I remains single to take care of my kids. I don't even have a wife at home for ANY kind of pleasure, but when I feel I am weakening, I ask God to keep me strong.
Do you recall studying in your church 2 different areas, (1) The book of Revelation 1:22, "Behold, I will canst her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds. 1:23, And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works."
Let me ask you something. The other part, I'm not going to look up, but I know it. I quoted that one because I actually love the Book of Revelation. I even prayed that if I go before it takes place, I would be so honored it He'd allow me to lead part of it.
Anyway, off topic for a second there. What I want to ask you is this. In the Bible is talks about angles, fighting evil, overcoming temptations like what you're going through now. Biblically, why are so many people cheating, and marriages are ending? You being single, separated and damaged is much easier for evil to control you. It's the same as stated 1 person can fight of a single demon, but 2 people in love within the unity of marriage has the strength to fight off 100.
The devil wants you to cheat, because you will become his. Another person too weak to fight off his power over temptation as the end grows near. When you're standing in front of Jesus and his angles, what do you want him to tell you. Good job, you did awesome overcoming temptation, or (with tears in His eyes) why did you fall into temptation, hurt your husband and your children.
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A
female
reader, whatamidoing? +, writes (23 October 2007):
whatamidoing? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. You are adding some good perspective. Troubledtoomuch almost hit the nail on the head. Things are not terrible at home and our sex life is good- even after 20 years. That's what makes this even more confusing for me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): I mostly agree with what pioriaman has said and that it is correct in most circumstances. However, I believe that even people in a good relationship with good sex can still get that "grass is greener" feeling. Sort of like, "WOW, I wonder if it could be even more exciting than what I have." I'm certainly not saying that it's right, just that I can see this happening. The other need to stray might also be for confirmation that you could be attractive to another person. This may even happen in a good relationship.
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