A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiya i have always known my wife has a fear of the dark but she has never admitted it apart from when she was little. But for some reason since afew weeks ago she doesn't settle very well. I have asked if theres anything wrong but she says no. I have noticed before she has these sort of times when she can't settle if shes on her own and doesn't like being in the dark, she either puts the tv on and trys to fall asleep with it on before i go to bed or shes seem very nervous all night. In the past when shes been like this i always know because she always makes an excuse up to go watch something upstairs about half an hour before we go to bed. I still reckon there is something and that she has never really grown out of this fear but what do you think? I doubt theres anything i can do to get her to admit it but what can i do to help her and overcome this fear? Why does it only happen at certain times(alot in winter) her mum said she thinks the same as me but she doesn't see her during the night when shs like this. Theres just me, her and our daughter. What can i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
This is just one of many suggestions I'm sure you'll get, but perhaps your wife suffers from night terrors?
I'm not sure if you've heard of night terrors before, but I'll explain what I've experienced (I've suffered from them for about 15 years.):
- Wake up paralyzed
- Can only move your eyes
- See/hear awful and grotesque animals and "beings" in the room
- See/hear intruders breaking into your home
- Sometimes the beings/intruders can drag you to the end of the bed, throw you out of bed, or just plain sit on your back
- You cannot speak or yell; can only breathe heavily
- If you try to talk, it sounds like something is grabbing you in the pit of your stomach
I usually experience night terrors when it's dark, I've only had them occur when it's been light in my room about two or three times. It's psychological; there are no ghosts, spirits, angels or demons actually in the room, but it's extremely hard to comprehend what you're seeing is not real. I've read that most cases are because of extreme stress in a person's life or depression. I've been to several psychologists and a life coach who preformed hypnosis on me with no positive results. My grandmother and cousin have the same problem, so apparently it can be genetic (I've since given up on the psychologists, etc.)
Here's a link from Wikipedia, although you should cross check their information (it's a short read): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror
Here is a link for the Night Terror Resource Center: http://www.nightterrors.org/
You might also want to check out some books. I usually go to amazon to read the reviews before I buy anything unless it's recommended by a professional. I have some books at home that I could suggest - let me know if you'd like me to get the titles of them for you (I'm at work right now.)
Have you spoken with your wife to see if maybe she's just afraid that someone may break in? Do you guys have an alarm installed in your home? If not, you should definitly check into it.
Also, I would ask your wife if she really is bothered by the dark. She just may find it more comfortable to fall asleep to the television light - it's actually one of my favorite things to do (and not because of the night terrors.)
Sorry I couldn't be of much help. These are the first ideas that popped into my head. Maybe you'll get some suggestions that you think hit the nail on the head. Good luck and take care. ^_^
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