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male
age
30-35,
*helostandlonely
writes: me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 and a half months now and we've been having problems recently.first, some days she won't talk to me and if i ask her why she denies that there is a problem. at first i though it could be time-of-the-month but now it's happening much too frequently. second problem is there's anothr guy. they have been friends for a long time- longer than i've know her for. she claims that they are only friends but she spends a lot of time as his house and vice versa. although i trust them both it still strikes me how she spends more time with him than she does with me...am i being paranoid or is it really an issue? any advice is gratefuly recieved
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): "is OUT OF YOUR CONTROL".**
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): This isn't what you want to hear probably, but you being afraid whether she likes another guy or not is OUT OF CONTROL. You shouldn't cage your woman and have her all to yourself. Sure, it's ideal to have the love of your life all to yourself, but reality check: the more you cage your lover down, the more she may start to resent you.
If your relationship is strong, no matter who she goes out with will not hinder your bonds with her. All YOU can do is do your part in the relationship. If in the end, she ends up with someone else, that would be something of her doing and not yours. It simply means that her needs/desires differ from yours.
With that said, it is then more prudent for you to find someone who has similar values as you do, and someone who has the similar desires and needs as you do. This advice, not only can work for intimate partnerships, but business, politics, and even within family.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 I think your girlfriend has every right to spend time with her best friend without you being suspicious but I know often guys have problems with my best friend being a guy too. You say some days she won't talk to you. Do you mean you call or whatever and she won't talk or she just doesn't get in contact some days. If it's the first you shouldn't have to put up with that but if it's the second maybe she just wishes your relationship was moving slower than you want it to? Hope this helps.
CD
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