A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i wrote to you regarding my issue and you said you couldnt list it why i dont know. well i thought i would give it a try one more time i have been engaged to a man feb.2008 alot has happened since than he has when throw a horrible divorce in which the ex got everything even things he had purchased like his land he bought 2 years before marriage and their house and sole and legal custody of their children but he has to pay child support but she calls all the shots. i dont know what to do ever since she was awarded everything several months back he changed somedays he acts like he loves me some days he acts like he wants me out the door, i thought true love never waived, anyway i would appeciate any advice on this situation i dont even know if he truly wants to marry me anymore he says he does but i dont know any advice would be helpful for me..thank you
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Well it really does depend on whether your name was involved in the divorce, had you been seeing him while the whole divorce went through and did she name you as a third party or the cause of the breakup?
I think the fact is that he has lost everything he ever cared about, his home, his possessions, the land and more importantly sole custody of their children, that part I don't understand as it is quite normal for parents to share custody I thought in the US, i.e. his visitation rights, having the children weekends or alternate weekends and set times or agreed times during school holidays. Why did he not fight for more access or joint custody? I am just trying to get a clearer picture of this situation so I can get my head around it that's all.
I know the laws are different to the UK and it seems that the mother tends to get awarded a lot more than in the UK as a rule.
I think you are bearing the brunt of his inner voices and anger perhaps. He feels like he has lost everything and inwardly he is probably in turmoil, perhaps in his own mind he thought the divorce would go down a different route, or perhaps in the end he just held up his hands and said enough is enough I want out of this so give her what she wants?
Had the divorce taken a long time to go through? How old are his children and what access does he have to them?
Happy to try and help any more if I can but think there needs to be a little more info if you don't mind sharing that.
BFN
Country Woman
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