A
male
age
41-50,
*essence
writes:With complete strangers thinking the same as I did in reference to my previous question posted I realise I did see exactly what was happening. I would like to hear what more people think.I met my girlfriend via a dating site in early 08. We really clicked. Soon after we started having a relationship and were both very smitten. After six months some cracks appeared and I suspected her though dismissed this to prior relationships going bad and me expecting the worse. She had always told me she would never cheat as her ex had and she was crushed by it.When things seemed great around eight months into our relationship, one night I invited her over for dinner. She forgot and said she had things at home to work on. I had to drive to the shop near our places and drove by to stop in as I often did and found a guys car who she knew from the same site prior to me at her house. I walked to the door and through the window beside the door could see no TV on and the bedroom door half open, with the lights out. I knocked on the door and when she answered a few minutes later she was very harsh towards me and in her pj‘s. I noticed the bedroom door had been closed and a teddy bear which I had never seen was on the lounge also. I asked her to explain and she threatened if I didn’t leave she would call the police, which was really strange. She denies anything was happening, claims they were having drinks and chatting, nothing more. Though the guys is a bit of a self proclaimed ladys man. Our relationship is now over. Although with all I saw I’m 99.99% sure she was cheating, im still unsure. What do you think about this and also what do you think I should do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): My friend take it from a guy who has gonne through that kind of stuff. She is a piece of a cheating rabbit. move on!
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 I agree, she had no reason to be harsh with you...unless she was caught in the affair. If the guy I were dating had stopped by there would be no reason not to let him in at least only for a moment. (By 8 months he would know not to expect tip top housekeeping and would have seen me without makeup, etc). The only reason I would not let someone in is if I were hiding something (or someone). And yes, why threaten to tell your boyfriend you're calling the police if he doesn't leave. Further, even if I had only had a friend in why wouldn't I have introduced him to my boyfriend??? And she told you she had work to do??
Forget her, she was cheating on you and the relationship was doomed and aren't you glad you found out or it is likely she would have strung you along for a lot longer and who knows what other trouble (std's) you would have been in for.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (25 August 2008):
 She probably was cheating. You should move on. I know it is hard to detatch yourself from someone who has broken your heart, but please try, because she sounds like trouble. Unless you were irrational when you went by her house and discovered her with another man, there is no reason she should threaten to phone the police. Move forward, let her karma do to her what it will.
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