A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in a nightclub in 2007. I was 23 at the time, and he was 21. We texted each other a lot at the beginning, and we had a lot in common, as we liked the same music and films. We only went on one date, I thought it went well, even though we were both shy and quite nervous. I thought it was odd that he didnt try to kiss me though. Anyway, for some reason, he started to text less and less, until eventually, he said he didnt think it was going to work between us, as he was so busy with work, and he apologised. I said some things i probably shouldnt have done in my last text to him, out of hurt and anger, as i liked him a lot. We were in a lot of contact for about a month, and then it was during the last few weeks that he seemed to lose interest. I texted him quite afew times to ask what was wrong before he ended it.I found him on Facebook a few months later and sent him a message, asking if we could be friends, but he didnt respond. However, last year, i plucked up the courage to send him a friend request, and to my surprise, he accepted the request. I sent him a message before i viewed his page, telling him what i had been up to and asked how he was, but he didnt respond. i found out when i looked on his page that he had a girlfriend.A few months later, his girlfriend became pregnant. Their daughter is now two months old. Suddenly, last night, he sent me a message on the instant messenger on Facebook !. I had only just logged in, and he messaged me straight away. He said " hey you there ? " , and i said hi and asked how he was. He said " great, hows you ? " and i said i was ok. Then he said " hows life treating you " then added two question marks. i answered him and i told him that his daughter was lovely . He said " sounds like you have an eventful year !. i cant thank you enough for the kind words about my child's photos. It meant tons to me and even more to my girlfriend at the time ". I said " you're welcome, and yeah it is gonna be an eventful year ! ". Then he said " It was lovely speaking to you, take care and have fun !!! " , and then he added, " and keep intouch ". I said i would and then he put FIVE kisses !.I still sometimes feel sad when i think about what happened before, as i feel that it may have been a missed opportunity, and maybe we met at the wrong time and wrong place. I also cant help wondering what it would have been like if i had been with him since then , and i'm not sure what he thinks of me or how he feels. I'm not sure if i still have feelings for him, or if i'm just wondering " what if? " I also wonder what his girlfriend has that i dont. She is 8 years older than him, lives in the same area as him, and i think they worked together, if that helps. What do you think about it , and what should i say if i contact him again?Has anyone else here been in this kind of situation? it seemed like he was really eager to speak to me too, with what he wrote. I have dated other guys since, by the way, but sometimes i have thought of him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): hi , well i havent written to him yet since we spoke then, and i'm not sure if i will or not, since i dont know why he wrote to me in the first place. seems quite odd. and if i had a boyfriend and he wrote to someone that he hadnt seen for a few years, and even if he had only known her briefly, i would still be suspicious. i mean, i am still someone that he was once attracted to, so why would he be bothered about me now , in any way ?. i dont even know if i want to be friends with him after what he did before.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): what does his girlfriend have that i dont????
um....stating the obvious love.......
* Him
* His love
* the relationship
* the connection
* the child
* the family
* the happy life
He probably only wrote to you like that to be friendly hoping youd moved on too, since he had.
And because youve clearly not moved on at all from the "wondering what if" , then i suggest you either be friends and no more, or back off and leave them to it!
Theyre a family now he obviously loves her to be with her and have her child.
You need to move on and do the same.
put urself in her shoes, how would you feel if some ex of ur BF';s who ud got a child with turned up out the blue wondering what if...im sure ud get really jelous. just back off and stay safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): well, do you think i should stay in touch with him as a friend then ?. he was the one who contacted me and who seemed eager to talk, so i dont think i should be the one to blame really. unless you think i shouldnt have responded to him ?.
to be honest, i didnt choose the title of this thread. i'm mainly wondering what his intentions were for getting intouch with me, and why he wants me to continue to keep intouch with him ?. especially as we hadnt spoken for three years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): Seriously my honest opinion is, if he really was interested in you he would have made a move before because as you have told us you clearly let him know you were available and interested. Maybe now when he speaks to you its because of something, maybe he is mad with his girlfriend or feels like talking to someone else But romantic feelings??? I sense none. But hey dont go kissing some guys feet much less if he isnt crazy about you. Blessings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): What does his girlfriend have that you dont?.................HIM. 'nough said. let it go.
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A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 It obvious that he doesn't have feelings for you in anyway but an friendly/associate way. So you need to respect that & not even think about what could have been. He has a family now. I think you need to let the "infatuation" go & move on to live your live.
Can't be said any more simple than that
Good luck! :)
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