A
female
age
36-40,
*emini77
writes:Ok so I've had issues with my boyfriend and porn from the gate im insecure and hes bot very understanding of that but whatever just some history for ya ....Anyway I went to his pad to do some work for my college courses i'm in and ( we have been together her 7 years hes 41 im 25) I'm logging in to my desktop on his computer when I get all logged in much to my shock and suprise I see my whole desktop is jam packed with tranny porn guys jerking off and cumming everywhere and a bunch of other not so stright type porn ......Something about the way he is with about porn has always given me the creeps but this really crepped me out so I called him and was calm just like hey whats up with the content of these here adult films honey and he says he was ".... he he just messing around..." but idk ????? It is really grossing freaking creeping me out and its a major turn off for me IDK ....what to do I don't what to push and seem like a bitch but that really bothers me =( and the what ifs are gonna be the death of me !!!!! HELP
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2012): No way that would gross me out and I could not 'get over it'. That image would stay in my mind. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Some things are just not right : (
A
female
reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (2 November 2012):
 Those feelings of "ick" are not going to go away. I think you two need to separate. Believe me, you will feel a lot happier once you have done this. I think someone highlighted the age gap too - oh yes, that would be a red flag to me. So, you have a 41 year old man with a young lady, whom he met when you were around 18 and he was in his thirties. Sorry, but he already sounds creepy to me. Please understand that your feelings are real and valid and so are his. Unfortunately, the feelings aren't compatible and therein lies the problem. The chances are you may be going off him sexually anyway (your use of the word "ick"). Let him have his relationship with his PC whilst you go off and find a non creepy guy!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2012):
 my hubby is a porn watcher and he watches tranny porn...
it doesn't disgust me or creep me out.....
BUT if it bothers YOU that YOUR man is doing it then you need to consider ending the relationship because asking him to stop is not going to work...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): 18 and 34? How did that happen? He is viewing tranny porn because he has become de-sensitized to the ordinary stuff.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): If he started a relationship with you when he was 34 and you were only 18, already there is a big red flag. The fact that you have been with this man for 7 years and you are insecure is also a big red flag. The fact that he doesnt really care how his use of porn impacts on you is also a big red flag. The fact that he is sexually excited by men dressed as women is a big red flag. I think this relationship is dysfunctional and you should work on your confidence....then run for the hills.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (31 October 2012):
 He has a right to his own fantasy preferences. I bet you wouldn't like it if he said that the things YOU liked were "disgusting" and "Creepy".
Think about what you're saying. You're basically telling him that he doesn't have the right to his own PRIVATE masturbation fantasies.
You don't get to pick that for him.
What he does in his alone time is his business. Condemning him as a bad person for things that have nothing to do with you at all is the exact wrong thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 October 2012):
 I'm not a fan of porn either. I do understand that my husband watches it from time to time and it's pretty "vanilla" so that doesn't bother me either.
However, if his computer was filled with it I would be creeped out - the tranny sex? Yea, I don't understand it.
The thing is this is YOUR relationship, and if this creeps you out I think you should tell him, however... I think he won't change a thing about it, it's not "just" adult movies, it's a specific kind of porn. A kind of porn that doesn't really include women, so it makes you wonder..
I guess you have to figure out if this is a total deal breaker or not.
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