A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so me and my boyfriend of 6 months broke up last week and were staying close friends which im happy about but we were going to move in together after we had to leave uni halls obv now were not. i dont want to live in halls again or a house share and theres no one else i can live with as everyone else is sorted for accomodation. im looking for a flat on my own which luckily will be close to some of my friends and im thinking of getting a dog once im settled. im having trouble at work and am looking for a new job and to add to the list theres several worrying health scares going on in my family at the moment so im having a bit of a tough time. i feel so lonely even though im surrounded by people and my ex is being so lovely and helpful with everything. i know pretty much everything can be sorted eventualy but how do i cheer myself up? im so up and down at the moment i could cry for no reason at any second! help :( x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much, im really trying to look at the positives now-ive found my flat, me and my ex are still best friends and were going out for lunch in a few days and ive got a whole new start to look forward too. im definitely doing the 3 treats a day thing! but which treat to do first... :) thanks again xxx
A
female
reader, Jumby  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Oh hun there's a lot going on in your life and I know it must be scary, sometimes it all gets too much and you don't know if your coming or going! Firstly its good you've got a great support network, over the next few months you'l find that they are the pillars that hold you up :-)What I would do is tackle everything step by step. Write down everything that is worrying you in detail in a list format and set it to one side to tackle later. Then go into another room to seperate yourself from the worries, listen to your favourite music/ take a bath/ just sit quietly and take a few deep breaths. Tell yourself that everything is going to be ok and sooth yourself by repeating that everytime you feel upset or panicky. When your calmer look at the list and think up ways to solve them or ways to cope. If you push a positive, calm outlook on things it becomes easier to deal with them. Make plenty of time for yourself doing your favourite things, and spend as much time with the people you care about as you want. Make sure you do at least 3 things a day that make you feel good! Even if its something as simple as having a piece of chocolate go for it.with accomodation I take it your going into your second/third year at uni and this is always a bit of a muddle. However I've been there before and have lived in all different situations so I would suggest perhaps looking up flatshares? Also if you contact the university theres usually a few people in the same boat and they set up meetings last minute, see who you click with and arrange accomodation. aside from that if you do want to live alone studio flats are affordable and usually close to student areas :-)With the breakup and health scares it might help to talk to someone who doesn't know your circumstances and can give you a neutral outlook or even just be there to listen. Most universities have peer mentoring services or free councellors who are great to talk to and ease a bit of worry. I've relied on these services a fair few times and it feels better to just sound it all out sometimes and you know they won't put words in your mouth or judge. and with the job its good your looking for a new one, a clean slate might be just what you need and will be good for a fresh outlook, the university again may help with looking for a new job also emailing around local businesses helps.all in all remember things have a funny way of working out for the better. Chin up hun, things will get easier in time just keep yourself calm and don't be afraid to spoil yourself or ask for help should you need it. I hope everything works out soon :-)
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