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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Please please I really need help! I posted a question yesterday is my b/f pervy. I can't stand any more. It's such a long story and I've posted bits over the past few years. I've been with him 12 years, I loved him so much, I stood at the door crying and begged him not to go out with his mates again and he went. He told me everyone was taking advantage of me or the girls I knew fancied me and were not true friends. We have a daughter together and I couldn't work when she was young, I smoke and if I wanted a packet of fags I'd ask him and he would say no. In the end I'd let him have sex with me and he would give me the money, he only seems to want to see me and not our daughter. I know he loves her, he has contradicted my decisions over the years. He critisizes my family. It has always been about sex - he wants it outdoors, we can't go for a walk or a drive in the car at nite. I have a phobia of sick to the point where I used to starve myself and became anorexic yet he would come home from the pub and throw up. I asked him for my daughters maintenance a couple of nights ago and he suggested we meet in a quiet spot... I text him and told him I couldnt make it and he asked me why I let him down, I said I felt unhappy but I wanted a hug, this wasn't good enough for him though. He said he was crying at that quiet spot because I'd hurt him letting him down. I don't know my life any more, I don't know if I just don't have a clue. I hate myself, I'm paranoid that everyone thinks I'm useless or hates me, I'm scared because I love him and it cripples me to think of him with someone else. I get jealous at the thought of it. I don't want to be unhappy any more or scared and as I would never do anything stupid there seems no way out except to go to some useless doctor who will give me an appointment to see a councellor in god knows how many weeks or mts at one session a week. I'm desperate xxxxx
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male
reader, 23ConfusedOne23  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 In my opinion this guy is a piece of work. He does not deserve you and you shouldn't be with him. I know the thought of that is horrible at the moment but from a 3rd party prospective he's destroying your life, physically, mentally and emotionally. You might say that you love him but i can tell you he doesn't love you. I'd do anything for my girlfriend and would not be able to see her without breaking down if i saw her in the state that you are in. You need to start over fresh and look for a healthy relationship. It's true that you have a daughter together but that's no reason to stay together and be abused by him in such manner. You and your daughter deserve better.
I really hope things will work out for you.
A
female
reader, xgummybearx  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 babe; this guy sounds like a sex addict, i don't think any guy should have power over a guirl like that; especially just for sex. I know you'e mentioned that youve hade a daughter with him but seriously; your better than that and if he cant stop himself from going out and getting wasted and coming back being sick when this is obviously phobic for you; i would consider your position with him... don't let him tell you you have nothing, no doubt you have friends! and its not fair him saying things about your family, i would talk to close friends about this (not the ones thst he thinks fancy him) He sounds like a big headed control freak. No one has the right to treat you this bad; i know 12 years is a long time and you love him dearly but this isn't right.
x hope this helps
best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): You sound like a very sweet person and he seems to know exactly how to get you to do what he wants. From what you say he seems to be in it for the sex and could care less about your needs. A real man would never treat you this way and you deserve a real man who will be there, not just when sex is involved. The next time he asks/demands sex decline and tell him no! Also, if others treat you badly then shame on them & stay away from those downers. Good luck and stay strong, your a good person who deserves better:)
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