A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My long distance relationship boyfriend (relationship 1 year living together, so far 6 months living in different cities because of work and visiting once a month)seems to either be trying to avoid me, get rid of me, is seeing someone else or he really has an awful lot of bad luck. He was going to visit for the weekend but then said his car was broken. Next thing his money didn't come through on time. Then he couldn't get hold of his boss to organise time off. He kept putting of giving me a straight yes or no as to whether he was coming. After all of this when I eventually called to get an answer on the Thursday night after he hadn't called all day, and he told me he wouldn't make it. I asked why he hadn't at least called to let me know, which I think is only polite, he told me his phone was not working and he hadn't been to work so he couldn't call from there either, and then was angry with me for keeping at him. So many excuses, each plausible, but all at once and then holding out on me till the last minute? Is there a message I'm not getting? He missed one visit before, due to work, but came the next weekend instead so it has been good so far.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): It does sound as if he's cooling on you. If you feel that may be the case you are going to have to tackle him about it. You are either in a relationship with all that entails or not. It is not unreasonable to expect to see him regularly, kept informed of his movements and givan a level of committment. Some relationship slowly fizzle out, it could be that the distant has caused him to have other things in his life. I think you deserve some idea of where the relationship is going. So asking him is the only way, but don't be fobbed off with lame excuses. You should never be so busy to be with the person you love.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 Why dont you give him a surprise visit?? Then surely you will get the answers you are looking for.
But, in saying that, if he is cheating on you or is no longer that into you, you are going to have to make a decision as to where your life with this man is going.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 Ask him. But be prepared for the answer to be something that hurts.IF it was me, yes I would hear what his actions are saying... that you no longer are the primary driving force for him. I too am currently in an LDR but it's new for us (4 months) and we never lived together. Lately we email all day, we talk on the phone at least once usually twice a day, visits are scheduled and kept to and even in the beginning when we had spontaneous visits they went off. While work is important to him, as is his play time I'm becoming MORE important... work is put aside when I visit. Play time is modified to meet my needs. IF your partner is not calling, is not attempting to make an effort, your partner's actions are telling you what you need to hear.I've learned... do not listen to the words.... my man cannot say "I love you" but he shows me he loves me in so many ways....
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