A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So here's my story. I started dating this guy my senior year of high school. Then we went to two different colleges and continued a long distance relationship for another 2 1/2 years. The distance sucked, but we loved each other and wanted to make it work. Until about two months ago we broke up because of the distance supposedly.I agreed to the break up because he wanted it and he was shutting down with the distance. We still have another year of school apart, plus I'm going to Spain in the fall and possibly med school. I really just wanted him to be happy, and he really didn't like the distance. Yet he told me he still loves me, and that perhaps one day down the road we could make it work again...So that's how the break up went. However, I didn't really believe that we'd be getting back together, not at first. I mean, if he was going to let me go, then perhaps he didn't love me as much as I thought? But after a couple weeks apart, we talked a lot and I got the genuine feeling that he did love me and want another chance someday. However, in between that time I rebounded with another guy and told my ex about it. After I told him, he was pissed and angry. Basically took back all he had said about another chance in the future. I'm not sure if he said this because he was hurt, or what, but basically he just wanted to stay friends and nothing more ever.So I've continued to try and date other guys. One of them is really great, but I really can't get my ex off my mind. I thought I was going to marry him one day, that's how much I love him. So if I love him, do I try and get him back? Is that what people do, or is this just a phase I'm going through.. that eventually I'll be alright and get over him? Thx.
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male
reader, mr antonio +, writes (28 April 2010):
 The fact he got mad is because he cares.for the fact he cares eventho you guys been distant,i would suggest you really talk to him.tell him you tried the datin scene but you cant take him out of your head.you didnt cheat on him you was apart so he will def get back with you.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (28 April 2010):
 I mentioned it in previous posts, but the only way long distance relationships can work is if it stops being long distance. It's just logical. Two people being apart cannot realistically make a relationship work. Sure, there are exceptions: troops in the service, etc. But eventually they have to come home.
What you're going through is very common. People move away to college and do some traveling. Whether you realize it or not, you are not the same person you were in high school when you met this guy. You're doing different things and living a different life. As long as you are doing that and he is at his college with his world, things will not work.
Options? Calling it quits for a while is most likely gonna be best. Give each other, and if when you're ready to return home you still have feelings for each other then go from there. However, what happens most of the time is you two grow apart and you find someone new.
And him having that reaction was clearly from him being hurt.
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A
female
reader, Libz +, writes (28 April 2010):
IT"S A PHASE. don't stress too much over it, it's still sounds a bit like teenage drama, no offense by any means. BUt you can move on, and you've taken the first step and I praise you for that. But in the end I promise you, you and all of this will be alright. It kind of sounds like the distance between you two is what's causing stress and this fight.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): Whatever you do it will be your choice.
If you want to get back with him, remain friends or not get over him, it is your choice to do so. I don't see how us telling you what to chose is a form of advice.
My advice would be to analyze the situation, and the possibilities of the relationship working out long distance, as well as not working out.
Good luck
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