A
female
age
41-50,
*oraatuha
writes:His loving and a friend and his my boyfriend.His good with words and reassurances and anything very trivial he will willingly do....He will call 5 times a day..Ask how am doingwhen he gets good money, he will spoil me...He will be great on stuff that is in his comfort zone...anything that requires him to put a little more effort, he will never do.it took a year to let his parents know about me...i havent met them yethe thinks visiting my parents is a hustlegoing to a party that is not suggested by him is hard work and he wud rather stay home, watch moviesHis friends say his got paranoia coz he used to smoke weed..and apparently weed does that stuff...plus he used to be a mama's boy..till she passed away...so how do i get him to be more responsible on stuff that matters
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2013): "so how do i get him to be more responsible on stuff that matters"
You don't.
He will either learn to become more responsible by suffering the consequences of his responsibility or else he won't.
He is who he is. You can't change him by winnowing out his not-so-good qualities while maintaining his good ones. Whether or not he starts to be more responsible without his mother to bail him out is up to him.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (4 June 2013):
 From your description, it's easy to see that this man is self-centered and spoiled.....
YOU can endure his behaviour, OR you can sit him down and tell him that he will HAVE TO face his life's responsibilities some day... either whilest he is with you.... or, if he is by himself, or "with" someone else....
What you are trying to do, is coax this child in to adulthood..... It's not easy... BUT, you must be - and remain - the "adult" in your household..... Start today...
Good luck....
...............................
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