A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Please can I have some advice. Cheers guys! I have a guy I have been in love with for many years, in fact 10 (oh my goodness, has it been that long) we met, fell in love, usual not go smoothly stuff happened from outside influences, he ended up getting married, I found out from friends and then we began affair, he left me and his wife and went off with someone else, who his still living with, although says does not love and just sort of happened. After years apart his gotten in contact and we have met up at recent parties and events, we have mutual friends, so we are now seeing each other through them, we have kissed and more (terrible I know) anyway.. the upshot.. well these mutual friends always said he was no good for me, I was deluding myself and he doesn’t love me like that. But recently the have changed their tune and now say you can tell he loves you by way he acts with you and give him time he will be with you, not like his happy with the girl he lives with etc etc.. That I have to not put pressure on him and leave him be. Anyway recently, him (the guy) has been un-contactable in fact been 2 weeks and nothing, I have sent him millions emails and texts and stuff and nothing and I don’t want to be that person, putting pressure on him, but I get so angry. Anyway, now the mutual friends are not answering my calls or messages and being weird, one of them is my best friend and were so close, he messaged me to say hi, how are you etc, I messaged back saying fine, not heard from boy in while, work bad etc, all that stuff, how are you etc etc..and his ignoring me, so then I called and said what has happened you never ignore me and again, nothing and been this way for a week, like said all our mutual friendsSo advice, am I being paranoid or is something going on? I mean at 33, I don't want this drama anymore Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): You are not being paranoid, your guy is a chicken shit who doesn't want to say "I don't care about you" so he just doesn't talk to you. This serves two purposes A. He doesn't have to have the unpleasant conversation where you ask him 'why?'. B. It leaves things open, just in case he might need a booty call in the future.
A man who cares about a woman, or respects her, does not act this way. You will be much better off and happier cutting all ties with him and moving on with your life. Please do this for yourself :)
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