A
female
age
36-40,
*appystill
writes:we broke up recently because when we were together, we couldn't control ourselves of being so intimate.As much as possible, we don't want to have sex without getting married..He was asking me for marriage but i refused because he's still taking up his 2nd course and i am just a fresh graduate. i want to help my family first.He told me that he had the biggest mistake in his life and he don't want that to happen it again with me so he gave me time to help my family first and when we are both ready and we are still single after probably 3 yrs, he will come back to me.So complicated that he is on his 29 and i'm turning 22..i still want to be with him and i want to wait.now our status is we are still dating sometimes,he's kissing me on my cheeks every time he has to go.I said that i want to wait for him and he said that he can't make a promise.so do i still have to wait in spite of the fact that he is now on his marrying age?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2013):
 If you love him and he loves you and you want to marry him then I would marry him now.
I would not make him wait. You can help your family and finish school while married.
I know many folks here will disagree with me but I do not think 22 is too young to be married.
He is very wise to not make any promises to you about waiting. He's 29 after all and even if he's still in school that does not mean he's not ready to start married life.
You can do as you wish, but if you do not marry him for three years, you run the risk of him leaving to marry someone else.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Happystill,
I have to say that this is unusual to have to anonymous answers to a signed question. I looked at this earlier this morning, but decided to wait as I was confused.
Let me sum it up
You two are in a committed non sexual relationship. He has asked you to marry him, you have agreed to wait up to three years. He has refused to call your relationship an engagement for 2 reasons:
One, he does not want to be in a premarital sexual relationship.
Two, he is not sure that this is going to work out for 3 years.
Now to your question, Do you have to wait? Any time you want to get serious about getting married, he is ready. If you wait to long he may find another who is more willing.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): I think he will find another girl. It's only normal. I don't think he'll wait for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): If he really wanted to marry you, you would be engaged by now. Or he would be making solid commitments. He is most definitely old enough and ready.
don't push him into anything. let him know what you want and if he's not ready to make the same commitment, break up and find someone else on the same page.
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