A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know snooping is wrong but I did it, I snooped on my boyfriends phone and saw his last google search. He was away at a course for the weekend and the city he went to for this course he googled: "city over 30s". I thought he was looking for night out to meet someone and he had told me he was in bed early that night and didnt go out. I looked at the links he had looked at and they were places to go/nightlife over 30s, and a stag/hen pub guide. He didnt look up the singles over 30s links or anything. Do I need to worry that he was looking to cheat on me? Or was he just interested? His friend is getting married but its a whole year away so don't know why he would look at stags! What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): You're way too paranoid you need to rein in your imagination. And you need to stop snooping. You knew it was wrong yet you chose to go ahead and do it anyway. You owe him a confession and an apology.
You cannot be policing your bf or husband for the rest of your life. What kind of life will that be for you?? It also is very disrespectful to him and is a betrayal of trust and can break apart relationships.
Mistrust can and does destroy relationships so you should get a handle on it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): It doesnt sound like it was anything bad. I see where you would be suspicious since he told you he was in bed early. From what you describe, it just seems like he was alone, bored, he doesnt know anybody and wanted to get a drink at a place where people are his age and mostly a guy place. Maybe he thought he could have a beer with a few dudes to kill time. If he wanted to cheat he wouldve been looking up college bars, females in their 20's (who are much easier to bed).
I really dont think its anything to worry about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): I am the OP!! Hi thanks for the replies folks. I am extremely insecure with very low self esteem. I know I'm like this, he knows I'm like this, my last relationship was 8 years and it didnt help. I am going to find a counseller because the paranoia is a terrible feeling. It's not that I don't trust him / more like : why should I trust anyone - they'll probably just let me down. I don't know where I got it from.. My last boyfriend never cheated and my parents never let me down! I guess I just need help for the madness in my head! Checking the search engines often feel like a panicky compulsion...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 no i don't think it's a big deal
but I would be doing you a disservice if I did not ask you
why don't you trust him?
why do you feel the need to snoop?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2013): I think you have nothing to worry about. I travel few times a year by myself, and being in my 40 s I deffinitely don't want to hang out with 20 years olds. Nights are boring for me, and being by myself I am always looking for places at night where I can have a drink without being surrounded by drunken men and women, and may be talk to someone local especially if I am somewhere abroad. Either I ask a concierge where to go where there are people around my age, or I google it. I am actually type in ,night places, live music, crowd over 30.
It doesn't mean I am on look out for sex.. Traveling without companion even for a short period of time makes you feel kind of lonely, and you want to be around people, that's at least how I feel.
But the fact that you are snooping around his searches is bothersome to me.
If I even mention it to my husband he would be very upset with me. We live together for mAny years, and we always respect each other privacy. I never check his phone, or computer, deffinitely not his searches. And also he never goes through my things.
It's very unpleasant feeling when someone doesn't trust you and suspicious about your every move.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2013): Just checking his options in case he got bored sitting in a hotel all evening or if one of the lads on his course suggested they go do something fun.
Come on OP, if you were going to a city for a weekend you'd want to know what's fun to do there wouldn't you? Or would your plan be to just go to your course then back to your hotel room?
I always check those things, my partner goes away more often than I do for conferences and I'm usually the one who finds fun things for her to possibly check out while she's there.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2013):
 I think you are a bit paranoid and he was really looking at cool places, bar,restaurants for an older more sophisticated crowd. If he had wanted to meet women over 30- there are zillions of more specific dating sites and sexual encounters sites, I don't think he would have gone in such a circuitous and time consuming way !
I also don't think that it means anything if that night he did not go out. Don't you ever look up stuff just for future reference, or out of curiosity, or to kill some idle time ?
I mean, if you see my last Google search, it was for " death of Brian Jones " - you know, the ex Rolling Stone who got drawned in his pool ? But I neither want to drawn anybody nor to buy a pool nor to f..k a Rolling Stone ( I imagine they can't get it up anymore anyway, being in their 70s ).
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