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anonymous
writes: Hi,I've been with my boyfriend for a few years now, and I did the worst thing in the world! I slept with his best mate and now I want to tell him before his mate does. But I don't knoq how to say it. I dont even like his mate. I'm so cunfused and I don't know whyIi did it !!!!Please, can you help ????????? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2005): There are a few courses of action you could take, none of them terribly pleasant but...it's a mess that needs clearing up.You could meet up with his mate and agree that it was a mistake. These things can, and unfortunately do, happen. If you can agree to trust each other then promise to forget all about it and never bring it up with your boyfriend/his mate or each other. If you are both mature about this you will both realise that you both have something to lose. Your boyfriend and his best mate's best mate. But you will be covering it up with his best inerests at heart. He will be doubly gutted to feel betrayed by the two people he probably trusts in the world.If you emphasise that and the best mate is a true friend he will agree on the understanding he doesn't want to hurt him and lose him as a friend.You will both have to live with the guilt and the bond of trust you have developed with someone you say you don't even like. That's tough but it is a situation of both your making.Alternatively you can tell your boyfriend. You could say that you slept with someone else and not drop his friend in it, but he may ask who it was and does he know him. You could lie here to protect his feelings. Or you could simply come out and tell the whole truth. Either way your boyfriend 'for a few years' will be terribly hurt. He may forgive you both, even it takes him a little while, he may never forgive either of you. It will be up to him.It's a tough one, I know you know that! I think you should go with the 'amnesia-pact' if it can be understood by the best-mate. In the long term, it is not the easiest option for you, but what your boyfriend doesn't know won't hurt him. If there is no risk of the truth leaking out then put it behind you, learn your lesson and move on.Remember, although you may feel bad, your boyfriend will feel even worse if he learns the truth. Do you and the best mate want that just to ease your consciences?Probably not the advice you want, but good luck to you all! It's just damage limitation!
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