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anonymous
writes: I made a huge mistake. I'm in my 30s and I've never had anyone special to me. It's always been hard for me looking at other people's relationships and knowing that it's just never happened for me.There is a family that our family are very close to. The father died a few years ago, and I became almost like a father or elder brother figure to his daughter. Last year she admitted that she had a huge crush on me. She was 15. And I took her seriously. Nothing happened between us, don't think that please - I just believed her declarations of everlasting love, and I fell in love with her too. It was just so wonderful to have someone to be special to me, and to whom I was special. I quashed my common sense that told me that it couldn't be.Eventually she decided she didn't want it any more. I was down about it, but I tried to carry on just being there for her instead, like I had been before. I think I thought that maybe one day, when she's older, maybe we would get together.Now she has just got her first boyfriend, and she's full of him. And it's completely devastated me. What's worse is that she knows me so well that she recognised my mood and knows that I still want her. And that's upsetting her too. And I just can't think of anything else, I can't take any pleasure in anything, I can't see any prospect of happiness, all because of that mistake I made when I thought I was going to be with this girl forever. I know I have been so stupid. But in my mind I just can't give her up. I don't know what to do.
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crush, fell in love, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Starr, writes (12 February 2005): Listen to yourself,you are talking about a fifteen year old.You can't take those words seriously.Fifteen year olds love a different guy every other week lets be real.You are a grown man move on with your life A.S.A.P.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2005): You have to admit to yourself that it never would have worked. She needs her life as a young woman and what's best for her is to see guys of her own age and make her own mistakes as she grows up. You must walk away.I think also you should do more to help yourself in your life seperate from hers.Talk to a confidential councillor to help guide you as to how to meet women your own age. Go along to a few singles clubs. Reply to a few 'personals'. Why not? It will take some guts but believe in yourself, there is nothing to lose. There are lots of single women trying to meet people. Even if you don't find someone immediately it is good to develop a larger social life, the possibilities increase. Easier said than done I know.
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A reader, nat, writes (11 February 2005): Dont worry, you'll get over her soon and you'll probably meet someone your own age. Try going to speed dating. You never know, you might meet someone just as special.
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