Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am not sure if my last message sent cos it hasn't popped up but I'd like to thank for your answers at the end of the day I should be honest in a relationship. My relationship is very open and healthy and we are do happy together. But I'm going to tell her when she comes up in the almost 2 weeks.
I love her so much and I'm gonna have the room all done for her anyway with some romantic things anyway (late valentines day!). I hope she'll appreciate me being honest and I'm so scared about this. I haven't done anything at the end of the day so I shouldn't really worry.
Thank you all and take care x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for replying back but I will tell her it is best being honest cos that builds the relationship stronger rather than leaving it. I could just leave it but I'm just gonna worry whether she'd find out or not. At the end of the day I know I haven't done anything and she's gonna have to trust me or not. I will be scared saying this but hopefully it will be okay.
Take care
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat do you mean I'm putting it off? And what am I to do then? I won't see her for another 2-3 weeks and the day she comes which only be one day I'm seeing her for another few weeks will just be ruined
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I wanted to tell her but I'm at Uni at the moment and won't see her for another few weeks when she comes at march and I can't tell her then it's only one day and she'll be so upset especially as we won't be seeing each other for like 5 weeks it's not fair.
I can't text her it cos that's just awful
So I'm thinking telling her during half term? :/
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I guess so :/ thanks for your help though.I managed to get that girl with my mate though aha
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (20 February 2013):
 Well maybe you just shouldn't tell her then and then make SURE she never finds out and certainly learn from your mistakes and not do it again. As you said - it wasn't malicious.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah sorry guys it's just I'm worried she's gonna like not trust me and possibly dump me :/ my friends don't think it's necessary to tell her as nothing happened :( just mind fucked right now!
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 February 2013):
I don't think your actions are malicious or intended to be hurtful. I'm sure you're a nice guy. Please don't get me wrong. However, you posted a scenario in which you depicted yourself as drunk quite frequently (if you go back and reread it you will see that), and then asked for opinions. Which is what was given.Thing is, it seems like you already knew what your opinion was and what you were going to do about handling it from the get go - not tell her. And It seems you just wanted to hear other people support that decision and tell you that you did nothing wrong so you don't feel as guilty about it. But I'm just being legitimately honest with you. I can't just side with you and give you what you want to hear to ease your mind because it's just not how I feel. This is my sincere answer because I've learned from experiences in the past where I've done the same thing as you and been caught. I got called out in front of my current gf in college about how I had gotten drunk and slept in the same bed as some other girl my gf didn't trust. This was done by an angry friend in a drunken state. My gf dumped me for lying because she had asked me directly in the past and I lied to her face and said no, I hadn't slept in the same bed as her. She was extremely hurt. So my policy now is complete and total honesty. And that before I do anything, I ask myself if whoever I'm with would be okay with it, or would i not want them to know about it? And depending on my answer, that's how I go about handling a situation. Because it doesn't feel good to regret your decisions or feel bad about them. And it doesn't feel good to keep secrets - as you now know. I'm certainly not judging you. Just giving you what you came here for. Honest feedback. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 February 2013):
 We define cheating as anything you can't won't or don't tell your partner. By not telling her you are cheating her out of the truth and her chance to make the choice to trust you or not.
I trust my husband but I'd not be happy if he was sleeping in bed with another woman... He has been known to cuddle in his sleep.... many do... we instinctively will seek warmth and cuddle... even if we "don't mean it"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I am faithful to her. You are all making it seem like I do this all the time. I went out last night and didn't go back to there's I go out quite a bit and this has never occurred before.
And of course I am 'really' ready for I love her to bits. I don't flirt with other girls or anything. Yes I wouldn't like it if she was in the same situation but I'd rather not know if they didn't do anything I dno.
I love bein with her and she is all I want, just cos I was in the same bed with anther girl doesn't mean I have feelings do this girl cos I clearly and really don't she's just a friend. But anyway this will never happen again because I feel sick and dirty
...............................
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (19 February 2013):
 Forget the accusing people...
Do what I said.
It will work.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (19 February 2013):
what you need to do is stop putting yourself in that type of situation. if you have a girlfriend, there are certain things that aren't acceptable. getting hammered all the time and passing out in girls beds is definitely NOT on the acceptable list of things to do. how would you feel if she got drunk and passed out in some dude's bed? and especially if she called him "cute." put the shoe on the other foot.
i think you need to decide if a relationship is something you're really ready for. because sure, one can still have a good time and party while having a girlfriend. but one also needs to be respectful of their girlfriend. so if you can't do both at the same time, you need to be single.
and yes, i think you should tell her. but i'm all for 100% honesty.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks you just made me feel worse lol
you make it sound like i am going to cheat on her, but i know i wouldn't cos i don't have that motive.
If i tell her shes gonna feel worse and get more upset and lose some trust in me. I don't want to obviously lose her and at the end of the day i have not done anything wrong or cheated on her.
...............................
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (19 February 2013):
Visit your girlfriend and tell her that you wanted to say it in person.
"I love you and am wholly committed to you", if that is how you feel.
Then kiss her proper ;)
As for you being in university, I don't know. If it is just platonic non-sexual feelings thats all it is.
...............................
| 
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: