A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m a 19 year old male, reasonably attractive though nothing special, I’ve been told I have a great personality and I have plenty of girl-“friends” but I don’t know what direction to take in my “love” life, and it really gets me down. I’ve never really had a girlfriend, though last year I really fell for a girl and we kind of had a thing for a few weeks and I really felt it was going somewhere until she told me she just didn’t feel the same. She was my first time and I had not been with a girl since until recently as she completely destroyed my self-confidence. At a staff party I got very drunk and ended up going home with a co-worker and although we didn’t properly sleep together we did get slightly carried away. My problem is I’ve seen how my friends act around women (confident notch on the bedpost types) and that just really isn’t me. More importantly the kind of girl I would want a relationship with would not go after a guy like this, nor would I have a relationship with a girl who’s casually slept with loads of guys in the past. So do I consign myself to not finding someone genuine (because believe me I haven’t been able to find any so far) do I have fun and get with as many girls as I can or do I stay lonely and frustrated and bitter (which lets be honest repulses all women no matter what they’re like) just to risk finding someone properly in the future. I hate these people who can have as much casual fun as they want and then at the click of their fingers get themselves a quality long term girlfriend (and by quality I don’t mean looks). I just don’t know what to do because at the moment I just really don’t feel like a normal 19 year old and I don’t know what to do to help myself out. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Lots of girls would want a guy like you, your just not looking in the right places. Not every girl is a player just like not every guy is one. As your young it really shouldn't be hard to find a decent girl, yes she may not be a virgin but that dosen't mean she's a slut.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007):
There are two kinds of men in this world now.
There are the ones who take all the sex they can get. Good looking, bad looking, does not matter because either way they'll get laid a decent amount just because they're jerks.
The other type of men will try to do the "right thing" only to eventually discover that their future wives have all had several times more sex partners than them.
There are two kinds of women in this world now.
There's some women who don't sugar-coat who they are and decide to go through a 10-year-long "phase" of sleeping with every hot jerk they can find.
The other choice is the women who sleep with the same jerks and then cry because the jerks won't treat them respectfully. Of course they'll continue to sleep with each jerk for another year or two anyway.
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