A
female
age
36-40,
*ellypeople
writes:Hi i need some major help. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 5 yrs...i love him like crazy. His problem is that hes very insecure..he has problems with what i wear, which parties i go to, which guys i talk to and things like that.Hes very conservative, he had this problem from the begining. Sometimes when i look "nice" or "hot" he doesnt like it coz he thinks all the ugys will look at me and talk about me later. he makes these small issues very big. Now whenever i haev to go out with my friends and if i meet some guy and if i dnt tell him i feel so guilty as if im secretly hiding something. I really hurts me. I love him alot and i want him to change. i want him to be all relaxed adn easy on this. Please help me i want to save this relationship.
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female
reader, jellypeople +, writes (14 November 2007):
jellypeople is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey thanx for the reply...it was pretty helpfull...iv actaully tried half the things you told me to do like confronting him about all this.. theres somehting really personal i wanted to ask..he smokes up(dope)...and i feel sometimes that maybe this is the reason he doesnt take any action to what i say..i think he just ignores it...what do i do to make him stop smoking up? please help me! thanx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Hmmm, well, it sounds more like he's controlling more than conservative. my bofriend and I are both really conservative, but he never gets mad at me when I talk to old guy friends, and when I look nice he compliments me. and he only gets irratated with other guys when their in my face.
so from my perspective, I think maybe you should just confront him (in a friendly way) next time he acts insecure about other guys. If YOUR willing to be faithful to him, you need to just tell him, "hey, WE'RE a couple, and I'm not into other guys like I am you, so it makes no difference if I talk to my guy-friends, because in the end, I love YOU." and if he isn't willing to accept that, then there's probably someone better out there for you. just remmember that a guy's strength is in his chracter, if he can't respect you, he doesn't belong with you.
hope this helps. :)
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