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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have a step brother who is 15 and his dad and my mom have only been married a year or so. Me and him have become close as in friends but something tells me that he wants to take it to a whole other level. Just by how he is around me makes me think that. The other night we were up pretty late on saturday watching tv and I went to bed in my room and turned the tv on and he came in there with me and was on my computer. I didn't care but he ended up watching tv also cause we put it on a movie. I ended up falling asleep first I think and I woke up a lil while later and he was passed out in my bed beside me. He didn't make a move or anything but I told him to go to his room because if his dad or my mom saw that we were in bed they may think something is up. I really like him a lot as my step brother. Is it normal that he acts like this to me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think his friend ever wondered about you two? My step brother would prob flip and go nuts if he saw me in a bra. But he has seen me in a bikini tho. So maybe he wouldn't flip but its different. A bra is underwear! I just have a feeling and call it a gut feeling he wants more. Just by how he looks and acts around me.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 No, not really emberrassed. It was a natural reaction he has while asleep, and its quite normal for guys to wake up with a boner. Perhaps it was because someone was sleeping next to him, or perhaps it was just one of those days.
Either way it was just a small comment he said about it and it didn't cause a fuzz. I also had a serious sunburn on my bum that same vacation which I showed him (kept my thong on but little else) and he laughed his ass off. For us there is nothing sexual about it.
I also often walked around in underwear while we were living together (he did the same) and if either gets uncomfortable it was enough to just tell the other to get a shirt on. But being in a bra alone is no biggie, bikini's are just as small and no one thinks walking in a bikini is unapropriate. Just my logic.
The only time I got embarrassed was when I was just in my bra playing videogames at my bro's place and his friend came visiting, and I forgot to put a shirt on. And his friend never said anything lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh I don't think I see myself doing that kissing stuff with him. I def don't change in front of him either. U mentioned your brother and u on vacation once...did you get embarrassed when he told u he had an erection
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (2 November 2010):
There's no "normal" here. People are different. What normal between some siblings are not normal for others. If you feel fine with it and not uncomfortable it is ok. Clearly though you felt uncomfortable by him sleeping in your bed, so I suggest you set a limit there. No sleeping in the same bed. If you want to minimize physical contact that is up to you.
I think the most "normal" rule I can give you is to not walk around naked and to not have sex or kiss, or touch inappropriately. No holding hands or other things you would normally only do with a boyfriend.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIs it abnormal or wrong tho to not know my limit? Like now that I am discussing it for some reason I'm becoming more open to the idea of the intamacy part. I'm not suggesting sex or anything...besides he's a virgin! What if we layed around and my head was in his lap? Is that normal? Or him rubbing my hands with his fingers? He likes to do that stuff and because it feels good I let him. Maybe he is gay! But it doesn't look like it. He has asked sexual questions to me and I've answered them.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (2 November 2010):
I think you're just not used to it. If you feel he gets too close simply speak up about it. There's nothing wrong with not being comfortable with the intimacy, you should only tolerate what feels right for you. But no, I don't see anything wrong with what he does.
Siblings get to be more intimate than boys and girls on a regular basis, it's like a given friendship that you have with someone your parents selected to be your friend. You just have to spend time together and it ends up with a relationship stronger than friendship. Because it is family. Other "rules" apply to family than what applies to a friend or associate. While you wouldn't allow a boy from your class to sleep on your bed next to you, it could be perfectly acceptable with a family member.
However, you are the one who decides where your limit goes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe and I are both only childs..so yes its nice to have someone else around. Even tho is younger then me we get along great. He has never physically made a move on me but he has made comments about me. And he's given me a foot massage a few times! Maybe I am ssuuming to much or maybe it is in my head that it intrigues me a little? I don't know. Maybe I am crazy!
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (2 November 2010):
I dont think watching tv with you in your room, or falling asleep on the bed, constitutes to him wanting anything other than friendship from you. If you think it is not proper then just tell him to not sleep on your bed again. And next time you are about to fall asleep, send him out of the room.
Unless there are other reasons why you suspect he wants something other than friendship with his new sister-in-law, I don't think this is grounds for assuming anything is up.
Does he have other siblings? Usually siblings who are close are not scared of being intimate in a non-sexual way. Such as sleeping in the same bed, going to the bathroom together, or talk about anything between heaven and earth.
Me and my own brother as close like that, we went on vacation together once and slept in the same bed, but he told me after that first night that I'd have to sleep in the spare bed because he woke up with an erection. We had a laugh over it, and nothing else.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 It doesn't sound as if you want that sort of a relationship with him. That is a good thing! Although perfectly legal, it would cause tensions in the family. If your parents were ok about it there could still be problems in the future if one of you quit the relationship and started seeing other people. You would still have to see each other over the breakfast table everyday. It doesn't sound as if your step-brother has done anything wrong yet - he maybe innocently making friends with his new sister. However, if he does approach you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or touches you then tell him directly 'no'. Tell him that you will never be interested in that sort of a relationship and that he misunderstood the friendship. If he persists, tell your mother what is happening. However, at this stage he hasn't done anything and he maybe just a nice step brother.
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