A
female
age
41-50,
*licka23
writes:Hello,The issue which I am going to write at times discourages me a lot. I have a big sister with whom I was never in good terms. Now she is married and I share no relationship with her at all, I did not even attend her marriage. Since I was small child, she never seemed to like me and when we grew up, things got worst between us. She always wished that evil things happen to me and she always wished that I get an unhappy life with no one to love and care for me. She used to call me a useless being, a parasite, a burden to the society and to my parents. In my adolescent years, I developed curvature of the spine which gave me a hump on my back. I did surgery to correct my spine later. I was already deeply affected by my condition but she mocked me a lot. I will never forget the pain she caused me when she mocked at my condition and called me deformed body. It's awful and so wicked. Now she is happily married, she seems to be having everything to be happy in life; loving husband, money, big house etc. I am discouraged because I feel that there is no justice. You can do all the wicked things you want in life and nothing will happen to you. You can be as mean as you want and still lead a happy and fulfilled life. I don't wish that bad things happen to her but I would like to have some justice so that I know that my actions count.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 I can understand your feelings, but I think it's time to move on. Your sister should apologize to you for hurting you, but you can't change people. You only have free will to decide what to do with the time you have.
I won't get into my personal beliefs about theology, but many people believe in a life after this one, where you have to answer to a higher power for all the wicked things you did in this life. They see this life as a test, not the "end all be all."
Regardless of what you believe, life is short and precious. We're only going to have one lifetime on this planet, and if you spend your life wallowing in bitterness, you're going to regret it. I don't blame you for your feelings, but you need to make the most of the things you have and try to figure out a way to get what's missing in your life. Perhaps talking to a counselor would help you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): All the energy you spend on wondering why she has this and that is wasted energy - that you should be spending on bettering your own life. By keeping trapped in this negative comparison you are not free-ing yourself to a better life. Just get on with making sure you have the life you want. If we all compared ourselves to others we would be bitter and insane. If you have focus and direction and make progress she will quickly be forgotten.
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Well you can't decide what happens, and just because she wished bad things on you does not mean she was actually responsible. You need to get over this, if you can't do it alone then speak to a counsellor. Just forget about her, pretend she doesn't exist, its not worth dwelling on her on what happened in the past. If you live in the past then you can't move into the future.
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