A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i would like to let everyone know that i'm not 13-15 but im unable to change it on my profile, i am 21. i am 5 months pregnant by exboyfriend (26 y/o). at the moment i live in california and he lives in argentina, he has not been with me during my pregnancy. he says things like "forget i will ever be with you or have a family with you".we dated on and off for 2 years. 2 weeks before i knew i was pregnant, he was on his way back to argentina. at that point he said he loved me more than anyone and he had never felt this way about anyone and that he hoped our relationship could get better... a few days later we had a dumb fight and a few days after that when i told him i was pregnant, he said he didnt want to be with me anymore. i was shocked! he has done some terrible things to me during my pregnancy and the distance makes it impossible for us to bond again.i feel so alone, i feel guilty, wondering what i did wrong! he never calls o emails me... he says he can visit the baby once a year for a few weeks. he just doesnt seem interested. he says he hates me but he wont say why. how do i take away these feelings of guilt? can anyone explain why he's acting like this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): personally i'm not sure if i'd give him parental rights even if that meant i had to give up support from him, he;s from argentina ... what if he kidnaps the child? You hear horror stories all the time about fathers doing that and the mothers left heartbroken. I'm pregnant and single too, and my baby's daddy has duel nationality ... as much as he may want to, i can't let him be on the cirth certificate for my own peace of mind. He can see kid, just don't want him taking kid as i love my baby already more than anything, couldn't bare to be away from him/her :) With people from over seas and babies, just be wary.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2010):
I'm with the other posts. He's a coward and isn't mature enough to deal with the real world. Make sure sure you get to court and take him for as much as you can.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Hun, I'm sorry you're in this situation. My best guess is that he's simply not mature enough to be a parent, not mature enough to accept responsibility. You did nothing wrong, other than perhaps to overestimate him. He's a schmuck, and he's leaving you alone to deal with it.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 June 2010):
 You have nothing to feel guilty about. He can't handle being a man and taking responsibility for his kid. He is an emotional infant who can't handle being with anyone else. You do not want him. You were intimate with him, and now he's scorned you.
He's not going to visit the baby. Don't try to call or email him anymore, unless it's to get child support (which doesn't look promising). He's a fool, and he deserves your disdain.
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