A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 20 year old with little dating experience and very very confused! Please help!I met a seemingly great guy, Steve, online. We messaged for five months and eventually met offline. I felt we had a really strong connection and would get along wonderfully. We've been dating for a month or so now. It's been pretty good so far and I felt this had some potential. We had sex for the first time just a few days ago. I felt it was great and left the date on cloud nine. Steve alluded during the date to maybe seeing a movie the next weekend and he kissed me bye. All seemed well. So, I messaged two days later saying the proper thanks for a nice night and that I hoped his week was off to a good start, but heard nothing back. I figured he might be busy, as he works a lot. A couple more days passed--still nothing. So, I sent a quick "How are you doing? :)" today and still absolutely nothing. How busy can you be that you can send a quick text?I'm so confused. In person, he seemed like he really had fun and enjoyed everything. However, now nothing? I am beginning to wonder if I've been used or what... I don't sleep around or anything of the sort. I've had very minimal partners and I only make such a step with someone if I feel its time... But maybe was it too soon? Did he not like it? Or did he get laid and now he's done? Or... am I over-reacting to the situation entirely? Please help!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): (I'm the "F**k 'em and forget 'em" guy by the way)
In my opinion, responding is up to you. Do you think you can still be in a relationship with this guy if he is a potential flake? I still think he might just be confused about if he wants to be in a relationship with you.
If you do respond, make sure to address the fact that he didn't say anything to you for days. That is something you should know right away before going any further with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, to provide an update and a few more details: Steve is a few years older than me and, yes, a bit more experienced than I. Nothing atrocious, but he has had a few partners. He ended up messaging me two days later, yesterday and just said, "I'm good, you??" I have no idea what to respond! "Um, did you get resurrected? Thought you might be dead!" Lol I haven't messaged back as I am really irritated that I had to initiate the contact and then wait days for a lame response. The confusion continues though because he doesn't act this way in person... Maybe he's just a charmer...
Thank you all so much for the help you've given. I agree with much of what you said and think he might just need to be cut. But what should I do now? Do I respond? And how?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): This guy does sound like a F**k 'em and forget 'em type of guy from what you said, but that may not be the case. Depending on how old/experienced he is, he might be feeling weird about you guys having sex. Because you said you have had minimal partners, I would assume he has similar experience simply because you probably wouldn't sleep with any guy unless you felt a strong connection and had similar opinions about relationships. In the case that he IS experienced, I would say that he used you, maybe. I couldn't say really. What I will say is if he DID use you and never talks to you again, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It sucks that there are people out there that toy with others emotions like that, but life goes on. Don't stress about some dude who wanted you just to get laid. Learn from your mistakes and move on and find some nice guy who actually loves you. They do exist, I am one of them and there are plenty like me. If you need to, cry about it and get angry and the whole gambit, but most of all get over it, life is too short to dwell on stuff you can't control. I hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Early to say, but I am afraid you could be one more casualty of on line dating.
I am sure he did have fun and enjoyed it all ( some things are difficult to pretend ) - but that does not mean that he wants to have a relationship with you, or even that he wants to have more of the some fun with you.
There's a lot of people who loves pizza - not necessarily they'll go to the same pizza place a second time.
...............................
|
