A
female
age
36-40,
*tarfish_2xtreme
writes:Hi guys,My fiance and I have been together nearly 3 years, have just moved into a new house, got a puppy etc things couldn't seem to be more stable. However, since the move a week ago we are hardly intimate and I've put it down mainly to stress on both sides. Tonight I've got glammed up after thinking enough was enough and after having a minor tiff resulting in my fiance talking a walk, I text him saying what's wrong with our relationship as he's so distant. he's said it's my weight. When I met him i had lost a lot of weight due to coming out of an abusive relationship, so much so he thought I was annorexic (wasn't tho i assure you!) Since the last year I have put on a lot of weight due to my family and I disowning each other which has taken a lot out of me, since february this year when we originally had this conversation I was my biggest (12 stone) and since then although it's been slow progress I'm happy to say i've lost some weight and am now 10 and a half stone. Work colleagues and old acquaintances tell me how great i look compared to a few months ago, yet not my fiance. This guy says he loves me but has dumped an ex fiancee who he was with for 7 years because she put on weight. Now I feel so hurt and insecure. I don't want him near me because he hardly encourages me or praises me with my weight, just points out I'm still not a size 10 (I'm size 10 top and 12-14 bottom) I have no friends, no family, don't feel attractive at all and only 20!! Please can someone give me advice??? I'm crying as I write this as i don't know what to do!!!!Thanks guys
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 August 2008):
 oh, I'm sorry ... it is SO upsetting when your guy is critical of your weight, and in your case it sounds really picky of him, because you're almost back to where you were, or at least on the way. 10 and a half stone isn't bad at all - when i first started reading i thought you were going to say you were 20 stone or something.
look, he's obviously got a big issue with weight. it's not fair or nice, but it's a fact. you need to talk to him about it, and then either lose more weight, or live with his nastiness and rejection of you. you should of course leave him for being so stupid, but this is the real world and he's your fiancee and you have a new house and a puppy ... i'd go for a combo of talking to him and losing perhaps a bit more - if you were 10 stone you'd probably be size 10 all round. but it's not nice or healthy to be opressed like that, really. don't let it get to you. he is being very stupid and shallow, you know.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (8 August 2008):
 get rid of him he is a stupid pig if he wants a size ten or less then go get a barbie. obviously he is shallow and can not see beyond weight issues thats his problem you have lost weight so you can feel good and hes making you feel bad im sure theirs lots of things you hate about him would he change for you like you are for him? is this how you want to spend your life on a balance oops i put on 4 pounds will he dump me ? come on darling you can do so much better than this. you cant live your life on a thread it should be happy.. maybe he has his own problems and he needs help. good luck aphex xx
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