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Since the kids came, our whole lives revolve around them and I miss romance...

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I think I have fallen out of love with my husband. He is so wonderful in almost every way. He is my best friend and the greatest father. We don't fight or argue about anything. But I don't feel any thing romantic for him.

I love our life together. I don't think this is fair to him. He deserves the same kind of love he gives me.

We got married really young, had our first child just two years into our marriage, and our second just two years after that.

Our whole lives become about the kids. We never have time to be with just each other, and even if we have a sitter for the night we don't do anything but talk about them. I have told him we need more time to be a couple, but nothing changes. He never wants to do anything romantic.

Now I find myself not ever wanting to be with him sexually. And does not seem to mind it. I love him, but I just don't feel "in love" with him. I would never cheat on him. but I dream of leaving him just to be alone. I just can't break my family apart. What can I do to fall back in love with him?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2005):

I don't agree that marriage counselling is a bad idea, but I agree you should work at it yourselves first.

You need to work out what it is you want, what you mean by 'romantic'. Is it time together just the 2 of you..and don't feel bad if you chat about the kids on a night out. They are the biggest part of your lives and a shared interest...being romantic doesn't mean pretending you don't have them for a bit!

Perhaps you can take the initiative, women are more prone to romantic gestures than men so maybe it is up to you to add the romance back into your relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005):

Its natural to feel like this after having kids I should know!Hire a baby sitter and rent a room at a romantic hotel maybe bring a bad girl costum or if thats to uncomfortable you can talk to your partner and maybe when the mood is right you may fall in love again.The most important person is you if your not happy then if you say with this man then your life will fall apart.Whatever you do don't go to a marrige counciler this is something you and your husband have to sort out together.Whatever you decide GOOD LUCK!!

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