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anonymous
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend about a year and a half ago, but I am still in love with him! He was my first love and he broke my heart but he just doesn't understand. He ignores my messages and doesnt call me back! I guess it's obvious that he doesn't care, but inside I really feel like he does. But something's holding him back. My friends all think I'm stupid for loving him when he just doesn't bother! But you cant help who you fall in love with, can you? Not long ago my friend asked him if he sees any future for me and him and he said "there may be". I really do love him. I know I am only young (17) but I have been out with boys since him and I just don't fall in love with them! Because I am always thinking about him, I always wish I am with him rather than them! I just dont know what to do any more. I isolate myself from everybody and some days I just don't want to talk. I just want to be with him....please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): what if you work with the man and you can get over the break up and you can't afford to quit your job?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 March 2005):
 You really need to establish exactly where you stand with your ex. This is hard if he isn't responding to any messages. Have you tried writing him a letter?Short of stalking him, which you mustn't do, there isn't much else you can do. If he won't respond, that is kind of self explanatory I'm afraid. If he thought you had a future, he would answer your calls.It may well be the case that you will have to try and move on. I know this is far from easy but you must try, for yourself. Make the effort and go out with your mates. Don't isolate yourself, talk to your friends. Find a new interest to occupy your mind and give you a new direction. Think about your own future and all that you want to achieve and work towards some goals.You can get over this. It will take time but you will have to try and make a concerted effort to let go. It will hurt but there isn't much else you can do apart from try to look positively to the future. There are others out there waiting to meet you. Build your confidence and go out and start to have fun again.I hope this helps.
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reader, Dr. Mike +, writes (25 March 2005):
Hey,First of all I know how you feel. I'm a little bit older, but I also just got dumped... and boy it is not easy. And yes, I still wish I could be with her too... When you really fall for someone it hurts no matter how old you are... and the bad news, it will probably happen again.Now, being a guy I am going to be realistic with you. He is not coming back to you today, tomorrow, next week, or anytime soon. It has been a year and a half and he is still ignoring you... I don't care how great the guy is otherwise, but someone like that does not deserve someone who cares as much as you. Now, if you still think there is a good chance of getting back together (which to be honest, doesn't sound likely) then I suggest you do the following:MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE... If you keep calling him you are telling him that he can come back to you anytime he wants, that he doesn't have to do anything to get you back. Basically you are telling him that you will be his safety net, and that will only get you hurt again.I know it is not easy to do, TRUST ME, I am struggling over my recent breakup, but as long as he knows you "need" him he isn't coming back...So, whether he will come back or not, take these 7 steps and move on with your life. If he really wants to get back together he will find you again.1. Don't idolize him - this guy will not call you back, or even acknowledge you... is that what you are worth? I don't think so, you deserve someone who will not only talk to you, but listen also. You can do better2. Get Rid of his StuffIf you have anything from him, either get rid of it, or put it out of sight. This will help you to stop thinking about him all the time (kind of like: out of sight, out of mind). That also means that you can't go and unbury it every night!3. Do Something For YouGet with some friends, or take some quiet time and do something for you. If you like sports go join some teams and play competively (it is hard to play and think about him at the same time)4. Get a New B/FThis doesn't mean go get a serious relationship, but remember that cute guy who would have been your 2nd choice... ask him to come over and do something fun, and don't look for a serious relationship (who knows, one may develop or not).5. Ignore your ExHey, what goes around comes around. If he isn't willing to talk to you, then he DOESN'T deserve to have you talk to him or pamper him. If he asks you for something let him know you are busy (you can even hint towards your friends, or your new B/F). But if he wants to get back together, after what he has put you through he NEEDS TO EARN IT.6. Join group activities (if you go to a church hang out with your youth group), go bowling, make a movie club, but something where you can do something fun7. Spend a little extra studying time (I know, I shouldn't have said that one, but right now school is MORE IMPORTANT than any guy... especially at 17). Get good grades so you can show them off to your family, and also secure a college future (if you decide to goto College).
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