A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i met my partner 3 years ago , he lived with his daughter and i lived with my two teenagers. although we werent living together we both decided we wanted a baby . after trying for a while i feel pregnant but even though the pregnancy was planned he told me to get an abortion the day i told him i was pregnant , he said it was because we werent living together , i was devastated . after a few weeks he said go ahead and keep the baby .when i was six months pregnant he told me he had text a female friend saying if he wasnt with me he would have been with her which upset me but he said it was nothing , by the time the baby was born my son had left home enabling him and his daughter to move in with me , he was unsure but eventually moved in . at first it was great but because the baby is in our room thing have really gone down hill. we havnt has sex for 3 weeks which really worries me , ive found myself checking his mob phone bill to see if that womans number is on it .i dont think hes cheating on me hes not that type of man.i feel afraid to talk to him about the lack of sex , and cuddles incase of making things worse. hes talking about booking a family holiday in a couple of months time so surly things cant be that bad?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThings still not good and we dont really talk about it, just do the normal routine of dinner then bed, I find it hard to talk about things as im quite shy, he is under quite alot of pressure at work and doesnt seem very happy at all, we've got stuck in a rut. I even feel uncomfortable going near him for a cuddle, he's wanting to take us on holiday in nov so things cant be that bad can they ?
A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (14 September 2013):
 Why can he not give you kisses or cuddles? Was he usually touchy feely or is this new behaviour?
Babies do change the dynamics of a relationship, but I have to agree with "iamheretohelpyou"'s comment regarding not planning very well to start with. Telling you to get an abortion was him showing you he definately wasn't ready.
He doesn't seem emotionally mature to have kids or a serious relationship with you, either.
Is he having trouble at work? That can be a contributing towards lack of sex drive.
What else did he have to say when you spoke to him about your feelings? You need to make it clear to him that you both need to try to keep this relationship together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for those comments ,i raised my worries with him last nite and explained that i felt it all went downhill when he told me to have and abortion and i told him i was upset about the text he sent the other woman i asked why he hasnt been near me for 3 weeks he said hes been tired and not in the mood ,the baby is nearly six months and in our rroom it was always me in the past who initiates sex ,itold him i gave up trttrying !! no kiss or cuddles from him either ,i really dont know what to do as i love him alot and im really upset .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2013): Do you feel like having sex? Don't wait for him And surprise him instead. How old is the baby? Would he not initiate the sex 'coz it might be painful to you? Kim
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A
female
reader, :)31215 +, writes (12 September 2013):
You'll have to talk to him about it, even if you're a bit nervous. He may be worried himself to bring it up because as a new mum you're under a lot of stress yourself!
Have you initiated sex with him? Or does he normally initiate. Maybe you could initiate? Maybe wear some sexy lingerie or something to get him in the mood.
Good luck with him (and your new baby!) :) x
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