A
male
age
36-40,
*loser
writes:hi everyone, really need advice! please help me, especially females!!Me and my girlfriend were together for 3 years and she was the most amazing person i have ever met. the first 2years of our relationship were the best 2 years of my life. Then she got pregnant and wanted to keep the baby. she got rid of it because she knew i didnt want it. i only wanted to get rid of it because we'd promised we'd definately have one togther. after that we started arguing more and more. we both smoke weed so that hasnt helped us either. 2 weeks ago she broke up with me, saying she needs time to herself to get her head straight and see if she misses me and that im really what she wants. her head is all over the place; her mum and dad also split up this year so that has added to the pressure. Altough we used to argue i believe it was because we lived in eachothers pcokets. we used to just spend all of our time together. I miss her more than anything and want her back so badly. i've truied feeling differently but all that comes into my head is her. When i speak to her now she keeps sending me mixed signals. One minute saying, i think this is for the best and the next minute saying that if we do get back together this time apart will do us the world of good. she says she still loves me and still fancies me. she also wont come and get her stuff from mine for some strange reason. what is she thinking?
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female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 Abortion is a very difficult emotional thing to suffer and it does mess up a girls emotions. Just don't pressure her for anything and understand that she can't help changing her mind about you constantly.
Let time heal this and just be there for her without expecting too much. Sorry you both are going though this at such a young age. For now on, be very careful and make sure the girl is on the Pill. Also, as the others said, the drugs are always a bad idea. Drugs make problems worse.
A
female
reader, Asked Angel +, writes (26 November 2008):
 Your poor Ex girlfriend probably has no idea what she's thinking going through all that she has. The abortion probably affected her deeply if it wasn't what she really wanted.
This break that you having i belive she is doing it for both of you, instead of staying together and making you both miserable she is trying to help the situation.
I think she needs space and definatly to stop the drugs as do you.
Do you think she might need some counsiling to talk though her feeling's? Is that something you could suggest.
An abortion is a really hard thing for anybody to have to deal with and she may need space to like she say's 'get her head straight' when she is starting to feel better she may well be back.
Unfortuntaly all you can do is wait for her and support her as much as she will let you but please don't push her. If you back her into a corner you may not like the answer you get from her.
I hope this helps and i wish you both all the luck in the world in you future's
xx
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A
female
reader, itsmallorie +, writes (26 November 2008):
Honestly your girlfriend probably does need to have sometime to herself. Since she chose to have an abortion for the wrong reason Maybe shes feeling some resentment towards you (doesnt mean she doesnt love you) and needs sometime to see if her feelings are going change. If you want her back in your life let her know you are still interested, check in everyonce in awhile, and give her some space. Remember she is going through a harder time than you can probably immagine, and needs to go through a grieving and thinking process.
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