A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a mess, me and my ex were together nearly two years, were engaged ready to move in together, had found a flat but about 4 weeks ago he ended it. We had been arguing for a while over small petty things but as we are both stubborn the rows would go on for longer than needed. We often split up for a day or two, not because we wanted to but because "its over" would come out. We would sort things out and go back to being happy again. My ex has said he basically got sick of this and couldnt deal with it anymore and its best we call it a day. We have spoken since and still love each other care about each other and miss each other but he just doesnt seem to want to put any effort in anymore. He said i would put my all into the relationship and he couldnt do the same. I would do anything to have him back, i havent got a bad word to say about him. The thing is we work together and he has started to avoid me and its killing me. Up until about 2 days ago he would send me a text with just a X in and it gave me hope but now nothing. I cant stop thinking about him, the good times, i keep crying i cant sleep, cant eat. i have lost a stone in weight during the past few weeks too. I have moved into the flat on my own and have never felt so alone. My mum lives far away and when i told her all she had to say was life goes on so cant turn to her, I have no close friends and no family and i dont know what to do. Maybe if i didnt have to work with him it would be easier but its hard to find work at the moment. I love him and i know he still loves me, i want it to work and for us to be happy like we used to before the silly arguments.
View related questions:
engaged, moved in, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LittleAlfie  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 Breaking up with someone you were so close to can be extremely difficult, taxing you both emotionally and physically. Especially considering you were together for two years of your life, it's natural to miss someone so much it hurts.
Unfortunately, if he's so determined to say it's over, there's little you can do. Even if you beg and plea and he finally gives in to you, the relationship would not be a solid or healthy one, and you'll be back in the same heart wrenching situation in a matter of time.
That being said, I can sympathize. I understand true and stubborn love. If you're truly determined to be together again, then try this: do not speak to him for 3 months. Accept the breakup. From the sound of things, he seems to have been the center of your world, so use the next three months to make yourself that center. Focus on finding things other than him that make you happy. Decorate your new flat however you want. Go out. Socialize with new lady friends. Have fun and take care of you. Pamper yourself.
If after 3 months time you still want to be together, then you can maybe start talking to him again. You can try to respark the old flame with him, but I'd recommend trying to bellow up a brand new one. Falling in love all over again with someone is often times more exciting than the first time. You'll both feel renewed and like different people. If you take your time, and work on your own happiness, he'll see that. And we modern men find very little more attractive than a happily independent woman. If you can be that, it'll strengthen any relationship you have in the future.
Good luck, and keep us all posted.
|
