A
female
age
41-50,
*estiny28
writes:Well....I've decided to stay single and out of the spot light for 2 years until recently. I've had bad relationships in the past and they sent me from hell and back so decided to allow myself time, healing and to regain my independence. I have met a really nice man and it's turning into something quite serious. I am 28 years old so lived life and know what I want which has allowed me not to settle for anything less then what I deserve. However, I've been bullimic, enormous issues with body image all my life and overcame severe depression last year. My current partner don't know all these things about me...don't know if I'll ever tell. Too hard!!!! The problem now is that I am starting to get these unsettling feelings about my body which I didn't have being single for 2 years prior. My partner is loving me more then ever and he is totally in love w me which is beautiful and I love him dearly too!!!! I am feeling fat, ugly again and scared about him leaving me for a better looking woman....I am tall 181 and weigh 70kg. I have a lot of excess skin on my stomach from all the weightloss but I feel very unattractive. I don't know how to deal with these feelings again as they have surfaced again cuz I probably never dealt with them properly in the past. I am scared, withdrawn and worried about this destroying my relationship. I don't want to talk to him about this because I am a strong woman in life and always stand my ground, ppl do admire me of a lot things but this is my darkest secret and I don't know what to do!!! I am very scared....and if this is the way I will be feeling from here on and in - I don't want to loose the man of my dreams but I don't want to feel this way either. Please adviseThank you in advance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 January 2010):
Well coming here was a really great start. At least you've seen that there is a problem and you're trying to fix it. If unchecked, this could have an effect on your relationship, and of course your health. Apart from extreme weight loss and health problems, bulimia has been known to cause brain damage because of lack of nutrients. More than anything, you need to identify why it is you feel this way. And the only real way to that is through counselling. You need to look into your past and try to find out what it was that made you so body concious. And though it's hard, you need to tell your boyfriend, or he will think you're unhappy with him and pushing him away. You'll get there, but you need to speak to someone about all your feelings and find out what it is in your past that has made you this way. All the best.
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