A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now, and when we first started dating he told me he had been with a very large number of women. Just a few weeks ago he left for college only an hour and a half away and I had all these mixed feelings, and while we were having a cry fest he told me he needed to tell me something that would make me mad at first but would probably make me feel better... he told me he had only been with 2 women... me and one other. I have a huge issue with liars, and he's never lied to me or cheated on me so this was very upsetting.. I was/still am scared that he will find someone better than me, or he'll want to experience with other women to see if he still wants to be with me. He's been at school for 2 weeks now and we've argued more than ever and I hate doing it, but I can't help but be nosey and want to know what he's doing and if he's talking to other girls and I just get so jealous and suspicious... Why am I feeling so insecure about my relationship? Why am I so jealous and moody and the reason we argue?
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 This is pretty natural when one person goes away to college I'm afraid, and there is not a lot you can do about it.
When you go to college your life changes massively, you meet loads of new people and have a lot of fun. Your world opens up more than you can imagine and you have lots of new experiences. So naturally the partner that gets left behind feels jealous, this is why so many couples choose to split up before one (or both) goes away to college.
Feeling insecure in this scenario is totally normal and most other girls would feel the same if they were in your situation. There is not a lot you can do about it I'm afraid, apart from accepting that he is going out and having fun, and talking to girls but that is normal behaviour at college.
Talking to girls isnt cheating, but as part of the process of making new friends at college he will have to talk to girls I'm afraid. Chances are the boys he is making friends with are mostly single, so they will be talking to girls - your boyfriend would look a bit weird if he just stood on his own all night wouldnt he?!
Just because he speaks to girls and makes friends doesnt mean he is going to cheat, you just have to take the leap of faith and trust him, and let him get on with it and enjoy himself. You obviously chose to stay together while he goes away for college, so you just have to accept this is part and parcel of the college experience. When you leave for college the same will apply to you, and your boyfriend will be the one feeling jealous!
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