A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Since I have become pregnant my partner has gone off sex completely, he used to be very loving and affectionate but now looks at me as if I'm one of his mates and he even talks to me differently, I have asked him why he has changed and he says he can't get used to my body changing and with the bump can't eventhink about having sex with me and assured me that he does love me, A few dates later I discovered he had been watching porn in private and when I probed him about this he started screaming at me saying it's normal and he has done nothing wrong and to grow up now he even stares at other woman and makes sexual comments when he sees an attractive woman on tv and he thinks this is normal he tells me I'm weird and that all men do it and if I don't like it to leave him well I have decided to leave him as I don't deserve this, I just wanted to figure out why a once fabulous boyfriend has changed so much?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Hello,
I am writing a feature for a women's magazine about women whose partner's have gone off sex.
If anyone would like to be interviewed for this article (anonymously or not) I would love to hear from you.
Please email me at [email address blocked]
I look forward to hearing from you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): hi there, I can relate to what your going though to some degree, I am 6 months pregnant and before i was me and my partner would be at it like rabbits every day, Now things have slowed down and we can go 2weeks without any sex. He says the bigger i get the move scared he is of hurting our baby. Now i do miss the sex but that has been replaced with a lot more intimacy, like cuddles and back rubs and he is always talking to my bump and feeling her kick. If you had this intimacy with your partner but not the sex then that would not be such a big problem but it seems he has detached him self completely from you and the baby. So i believe you have done the right thing hun. loulou x
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A
female
reader, raima  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 well when i was pregnant he was nice to me and almost most of the time we enjoyed a lot but your case is little differsnt if he say im worried weather h will hurt baby so this is quite ok but he is donig bulls#it i think he thinks now you are pregnant and his sex life is gone tell him try to convince him that this is not end this is the starting of new famil;y life you will enjoy when you will se your baby. try to relised him that he is going to be father and tell him to feel the fealing of father do one thing tell him to listing your baby hearbeat ...definatly he will change and if nothing work so listing to yuor heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): Porn is normal if he was looking at it before. But if he just started after you got pregnant, then it is a problem and means that he isn't getting what he wants from you. Obviously this is not your fault. Did he want this baby? Was it planned? He sounds like a real ass, saying that you should leave him because he is going to look at other women and make comments about them. What about your child, is he more concerned with looking at women than about your child's future & happiness? Has he always treated you like his little sex trophy? I have had 2 babies in the passed two years, and my body definetly is not the same. My stomach is stretched out, loose, I have stretch marks all over. BUT I have seen MANY women that after having kids get their figure back..my sister is one of these people. She's in great shape and you can not even tell she had a baby, she has not 1 stretch mark. Let's hope you're one of these people. Remember to use cocoa butter every day to prevent stretch marks. Maybe after you have the baby he will stop acting this way. My friend has had 3 kids and every time she was pregnant her husband wouldn't have sex with her. But after the pregnancy, their sex lives went back to normal. it makes me wonder though if you even want this kind of man in yours & your child's live's. I can see if a man psychologically can't help not being attracted sexually to his wife during her pregnancy, but to go out of his way to make her feel like crap about herself, is just awful. I had a c-section a month ago, and after I got out of the hospital, I was bed ridden for a few days due to the pain, & I found some pics of women on our computer that my husband had been looking at while I was in bed. That just totally broke my heart. I mean, being pregnant is emotional enough, but you feel really bad about your body too. I'm sorry about what you're going through. I wish this guy would be more sensitive & caring.
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (10 April 2008):
 I think your boyfriend needs to grow up! You're pregnant and need support he should be trying to make things easier for you, not harder! Most men find women even more attractive when she is carrying his baby, its natural inbuilt instinct to make him wanna hang around and take care of you.
Your body is gonna change and he needs to deal with it. if he loves you like he says he does he shouldnt give a flying rats ass about stretch marks or bumps or anything else. They're there because your body is giving him a beautiful little son/daughter.
If he doesnt want a mature relationship and just wants someone hot to have sex with then i think you'd be better off without him. If all he cares about is physical appearance then maybe he was never really as fabulous as you once thought?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): It's a natural reaction in some men.
You're no longer the sex object he once saw you as, now you're a pregnant mother-to-be. In his eyes you're now something akin to spoiled goods and at the moment and for the next several months are no longer as attractive to him as you once were - if at all. He sees 'unpregnant' women as unspoiled sex objects to be leered at now that you no longer hold that place in his affections.
With any luck, once you've had the baby and hopefully got your figure back he may see you in a similar light to how he used to see you, but the chances are you'll have stretch marks and be looser than before so there'll be no disguising the fact that you've had a baby and that may dampen his desire for you. It's doubtful that your sex lives will ever be tha same again, especially when you've got a screaming kid waking you both up at all hours of the night and demanding all your attention. You'll probably be too tired for sex anyway and he'll probably feel he's playing second fiddle to the baby. Such are the joys of parenthood that you'll experience all too soon.
Basically, he's changed because you've changed, although you probably don't see it quite like that. I'm sure he does love you - but as the mother of his child rather than his lover. He still needs sexual thrills though, hence the porn. He probably spends more time in the bathroom than normal too.
I remember a mate of mine who'd just become a father. His missus had gone off sex all through her pregnancy and after the baby was born, but he hadn't. He was always telling us he was refused nookie the previous night for one of two reasons: 1/ The baby was awake and might hear, and 2/ The baby was asleep and she didn't want to wake it because it would be ages before it got back to sleep.
Boy, am I glad all that nonsense is behind me!
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A
female
reader, indie girl +, writes (10 April 2008):
It sounds like he has a phobia of pregnant women. Men usually have this fear if they feel like they're going to hurt you or the baby. Also, some men just can't get there head around the possibility of a small person coming out of your special place. Why don't you visit a pregnancy website, search "sex whilst pregnant" and re-assure him that sex is perfectly natural whilst carrying. If he's looking at other women then that's disgusting. You need to have a quiet (non argumentative) word with him and let him know how you feel. As for the porn, it's quiet normal and i don't think you should be offended by it, just leave him to it. At the end of the day, if he loves you he'll understand what you're uncomfortable with and adjust himself to your "Pregnant" ways.
Hope this helped (:
& Hope all goes well with the birth and good luck
With your relationship!
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