A
female
age
,
*annafi1
writes:I am in a very confused state as my husband of 17 months, has not shown me any affection or love now for the past 12 months.For the first 12 months we were together, he was very chatty, out-going and told me more than once a day,he loved me. Then suddenly, it all stopped.We went from having sex 3-4 times per week to not at all.He is the manager of a chicken farm and has alot of pressure when there are problems, and we live on the farm which doesn't help, but since he acquired a 28yr old 'male' Assistant Manager', he has had less problems.Where he used to invite me up to the farms' tea room 3-4 times a day, he has now said, I am only permitted up there once per day?When I am up there, it's as if I am not there, and he sits looking at this chap, who incidentally is Polish, in the way he used to look at me.This has left me wondering if he is either 'Gay' or Bi-sexual??I have tried to instigate bedroom activity but just get pushed away?Please can you help??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nannafi1 +, writes (11 April 2008):
nannafi1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou for your replies, how-ever, my Husband doesn't even like me talking about my children from previous marriages?
I have 3 grown up children and when-ever they phone me, he starts sulking like a child. Some-times, I feel as if I married a child, if you know what I am saying?
Thankyou for the links you sent me-they tell me alot.
For a long time, my Husband told me it was problems at work which made him like it, but he always had problems with work when everything was good.
I am still pretty much confused though!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): It does not make sense though that if he is afraid of you thinking he is less of a man that he would stop wanting sex from you all together. I think you should set up a hidden camera to see if he is possibly having a relationship with this 'assistant' It could be a number of things though. Are you unable to ask him what is going on?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/tp/Withholding-Sex.htm
Your husband could also be a passive agressive, take a look at the aritcle above and if he doesn't change soon, then you may have to take steps to save yourself and get out of the marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): It seems a little far fetched that your husband would take the trouble to marry you and then a couple of months later turn into a gay man or bisexual especially at his age.
My hunch is the reason he doesn't want you coming around where he works IS BECAUSE of the male 28 year old assistant, but not for the reasons you think.....he may feel threatened that he will take you away from him, and he may be feeling imasculated that a younger guy was brought in to HELP him do what he used to do by himself....he is having a time with dealing with this and is probably worried about getting older when he relies on his body to make his living.
I would try to stop getting sex from him and start validating him and telling him how great he is....ask him to do some small chore around the house that you just frustratingly don't know how to do, even if you have to pretend....I heard of a woman who went out to the fuse box an flipped a switch so her lights in her home didn't work, played dumb and went to her husband to figure out the problem, he went out flipped a switch for her then preened around that he was her hero....she did not make a huge fuss over him as if to be sincere, but she said she didn't know what she would do without him and thanked him for what he brought to their union....
Try that for awhile and take a look at the article below for some ideas.....I hope I am right, I can't imagine it is the scenario that you write here!
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-2659.html&fromMod=popular_sex
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