A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am starting to get worried about the emotional/ sexual relationship between my boyfriend and i. We just had a baby boy and i was sure that our sex life would change, that something would happen! but there is still no sex what so ever... i am feeling lonley and upset all the time. I always go to bed wearing something a little "sexy" to see if that will boost him up a little but .. nothing. He always says that he is just tired from work .. but hey i am tired too im working all day; im taking care of our new born, and its not always easy work, because comes along with it is all the house hold chores and cooking! so am i just not attractive to him anymore or what is going on? the occasional time when we do finally have sex there is not even any foreplay.. and he finishes and thats it, he rolls over and goes to sleep within minutes! i try to talk to him about it but i dont get real answers from him. i am getting very frustrated because i am always trying so hard to be sexy for him I EVEN BEG HIM FOR ME TO GO DOWN onto him.. and he still rejects? .. also he has just let himself go .. he is gaining weight 20 pounds within the last .. 7 months? and he has just stopped "grooming" himself down there.. am i just not good enough for him, not sexy or attractive.. what can i do!!!!!! im going insane!!!
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 My best frien'd husband went through something like this. he found it very hard to bond with his son, and found it very different to how he expected having a small baby! he didn;t want sex because he was afraid of hurting my friend, and wasn't sure of all the hype about her being "loose" after birth would be true...He just got himself in such a flap but wouldn't talk to her about it. In the end, she arranged a babysitter, took the day off work, turned thier house into a love nest with candles and music, cooked him a lovely meal and waited for him to come home from work wearing a sexy nightie. It worked for them, dont know if it would work for you but always worth a try, a house to yourselves and a few glasses of wine should loosen him up enough to talk to you?
A
female
reader, ShanL  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Maybe he is still happy and a little surprised about the baby, because normally it be the woman instead of the man. Don't worry have a sit-down with your baby's father and talk about it and see what happens after that & be sure to pray for the strength in your relationship and guidance through it.
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