A
male
age
36-40,
*opshelf13
writes:After 4 years, i broke up with my girlfriend. We'd been rocky the past 6 months. She slept with a guy far beneath her within 2 weeks. I knew she's a slut, we slept together the first night we met...but i thought after 4 years and the genuine love in our rela, she might have waited a little longer this time. (we never cheated on eachother, just fyi) Anyway, i know she still loves me, she tells this to a mutual friend. She is still furious and hurt and won't talk to me, says we'll never get back together. We've been broken up for 2.5 months, I've wanted her back after about 10 days without her. I've texted her i'm ready to marry her, which she'd been pushing gently at. Since hearing of her with this guy, I've been with 2 girls myself, only becuase she did. It was wrong and I just thought of her, but I hoped it would help me realize I don't need her. I'm determined to get her back, but I'm also the type to hold grudges for a long, long, time. I know I'm the only one that can decide if I can get over this, but I guess i'm just looking for opinions. I've been abiding by the "no contact" rule, even though it's killing me.
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female
reader, SillyB +, writes (11 February 2011):
 If she was a slut for sleeping with you on the first date, what are you? What are you for sleeping with two random girls?You know, I think its better to let her just be. The relationship took its course, it ended for a reason. I don't think a man who can find fault so quickly and judge so harshly can create a healthy relationship with this girl.You mentioned that you hold grudges. This already indicates that the relationship would not work. You'd make things very difficult for her, not treat her right, blame her for things you are angry at and really, just create another reason to break up over.I'd leave her alone and let her live her life where she can start fresh and form a healthy and happy relationship elsewhere.Hope this helps. Be positive!
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (11 February 2011):
Well, I'm not really sure what your question is. Are you asking for advice in getting her back? Or advice if you should move on?
That said, I see a red flag. You referred to your ex-gf as a slut and gave a couple reasons why you feel that way. Really, my experience tells me this is not a girl you should settle down with. The fact that you feel that way about her is unhealthy for the relationship. If you really loved her, you wouldn't call her that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): Referring to her as a 'slut' and then saying that you'd like to marry her, and sleeping with other people 'just coz she did' makes me think that sorry fellow, but you're seriously immature. I think your only option is to grow up a little before making a lifelong commitment to anyone. You broke up with her, therefore it is none of your business how long she waits to sleep with someone else. She's obviously hurt by you and still furious. I doubt she'll come back, as she realises you're no good for her. Move on and grow up a little.
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