A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I need advice!! I have pushed myself to get back into the dating world. I went online and never thought I would meet someone I would fall for and BAM! Two weeks ago I met a man and we have been emailing 24/7. We have clicked. We have exchanged pcitures and are so attracted to eachother. We exchange nice compliments etc. We are meeting in 1 1/2 weeks. He told me he is looking to meet the one special women as that is missing in his life and that is what I want as well. I feel so much chemistry already and really like him. I asked him last week how he is going to handlr future inquires on the dating site as he has told me he can tell he really cares about me already like I do for him. He replied I really am nto doing much with the online at all. Tonight I logged onto the sit and there was an email saying this guy update his profile a few days ago. I find it odd because we just talked about it and he said he really did not have much to do with it anymore. I know we have not even met and I do not know what to think. To all the smart people here, please give me advice how to handle...Thanks so much!To all the aunts and uncles. What are the clear signs that a man is a player? I would like to know so I can clearly see the red flags and walk away before I get hurt..Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): As you are new to online dating just be aware that they say that sort of thing to you anyway. Whether they mean it or not. So be sensible. If youve only been chatting a couple of weeks, it may feel very real and intense to you. But he may have more experience of this sort of thing and not be as bowled over as you think. How long ago did he register with the dating site? Months or years ago? At the end of the days its a couple of weeks chatting to a stranger. So try and avoid sex on his first visit. Make sure you tell him its not on the menu incase he is visiting with that expectation. If you are the woman of his dreams he wont want to think you have sex as soon as you meet a guy. AND if you give in and sleep with him. You may not hear from him once he goes home. And that will make you feel awful. If all goes well after the first visit. Then make up a fake profile and go chat to him. See if hes interested or hes deleted his profile because hes found you. Thats what you should be looking for. Hopefully he wont have loads of email addresses and profiles in other names.....as can happen with some. As for how to spot a player. Things they say dont add up and they lie alot. I hope things work out ok. Good luck x
A
female
reader, texasgal +, writes (12 January 2010):
He sounds like my friend (see my Q why do guys lie on social network sites). Drop him like a hot potato! He's not honest & he's not ready to be faithful to one girl. Good thing you figured this out early! You are pretty smart yourself! You can do better.
The internet provides a never-before seen fantasyland where anyone can be whoever they want to be and no one can see who they really are (for a little while anyway, but they always get found out eventually) or tell them any different.
Check to see if your site has a selection of pat "quick replies" and choose one to just get rid of him. And cheer up, keep trying, you are gonna be great.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 January 2010):
Dont think anything until after you meet. You can't already expect him and you to be exclusive until you have met a few times and decided to be a couple. I met my current boyfriend on the web too and before we met in person I noticed that his account was regularly in use. At first it bothered me but I realised that I could not expect him to be faithful already before a real relationship. Later when we became a couple, I secretly monitored him using a false profile created for this purpose (yeah I'm psycho like that),and noticed that he no longer logged on. Don't start a new relationship with a string of rules; let him meet you first so he can realise what a waste of time all the other women are.
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