A
male
age
30-35,
*ergen1
writes:I hope someone can offer some advice. After a very difficult off and on summer, my girlfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me completely, telling me she had no feelings for me. She moved on to another guy almost immediately, and that was hard enough to picture. However, I learned just two days ago that she cheated on me throughout our relationship, several times within the past few months. I'm hurt, I'm betrayed, I feel disgusting knowing she was with someone else and then with me (over and over again), I feel stupid, and occasionally I get flashes of anger. I know that I would never take her back, and I want to get over this pain as quickly as possible but I don't know how. I can barely function and I head back to college for my senior year in just 2 days. The worst of all of this though are the visions I have in my head of her doing stuff with these guys that she used to do with me. I can't get those visions out of my head. Please, please, please...any advice you can give as to how to get through this as quickly as possible, and especially how to get rid of these visions, will be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): You need to forget her and start living a good life. The thing is you have fallen in love with her but she was not and she was just cooperating you at that time. Therefore, don't be fool and get rid of this girl and always see that they(girls) need to be behind you, but not yourself behind them. That is the quality of a male.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (12 August 2010):
 The only thing that will help you get over this is time. You can't rush it. The harder you "try" to get over it, the more obsessed you will get. Get out, take your mind off of it with some friends or family. If you do start thinking about her, don't put the blame on yourself. The truth is, for someone to cheat they've got to be an immoral person. Clearly she didn't care about your feelings. Sure, couples "fall out of love", but this is different. She didn't even tell you... she went behind your back and lied.
Try looking at it as a good thing. Good that you finally found out what kind of a person she really is, and good that you don't have her in your life anymore. There are better girls out there then her. Odds are she's going to do the same thing to this guy, and so on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): There is no quick solution here, this will take time.
She was incredibly disrespectful and selfish and so try to be thankful that she is no longer a part of your life. Let some other guy have her and that way he will have to deal with her childish, nasty behavior.
I suggest you remove all traces of her in your belongings: delete her from your mobile, MSN, Facebook etc. If you have mutual friends, never ask them how she is doing. Just try to make it so that you are never reminded of her.
Best of luck man. Nice guys do end up finding nice girls and it's great. This girl was not nice so she was no good for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): find frens who are positive.. who can listen to you... and whose company you enjoy and who are fun.. once you start mixing up you will find other things more interesting and even fun.. that might help you.. and cry
if u want to... ull feel better... once you start feeling a lil better start focusing on what you want to do and your studies.. cos that will be the thing which is most hampered.. dont mess that up.. hope that helps
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): You need to concentrate on behaving in a dignified and controlled manner, being polite and yet distant if you see her or any of her conquests. Don't let the ******s get you down, or see that you are down.
Then it's just time. Life brings different events, new people, possibly a new partner in time.
Try to stay cool and it will eventually feel better, I promise. x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 August 2010):
 I'm sorry this happened to you but most people have to go through this pain sometime or another. There is no quick fix. My best advice is to try to stay as busy as you can. When you go back to college, dive into your studies. One of the best things you can do is become successful and develop a beautiful future for yourself. And a side bonus on your success is that she will see what she stupidly threw away.
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A
female
reader, Black diamond20 +, writes (12 August 2010):
She has no feelings for you cause her intrest were somewhere else trust me you was not the problem she just love sex ..start dating multiple women dont get serious with them or lead them on just go out from time to time try not to talk about her so much if they ask you what happen just say she moved away leave it at that the more you talk about her the more angry you will become and dont go around screwing every girl making them feel bad because of her .and get tested shes a nasty person live life and enough your self u are in school evry woman loves a strong and intelligent man?ps let me know wht u think about my advice hope it helped.
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A
female
reader, Angel Wisper  +, writes (12 August 2010):
Hi Ergen 1,
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I hope you realise that you didn't deserve any of it. I'll be honest with you...You WILL get over her and stop thinking about it so much but it will take time. It can take at least a year to completely get over someone you love and trusted. i think it's also important what you do with this time.If your family or friends know about the situation then spend more time with them. They want what's best for you and they will be the only people in your life you can trust. You'll build your strength back up and be on your feet in no time. They won't judge you. If you feel angry, let yourself be angry. There are a lot of women out there that are looking for someone who's clearly as loving and caring as you are.
You fell for the wrong girl. It just happened that you were too trusting and naive to see that you didn't pick the right one for you. - But that's what makes you a better individual.
Take it a day at a time.
I read a great book which might help
"Dr Phil McGraw - Preparing for the 7 most challenging days of your Life". If I don't help, this will. x
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