A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In love with a woman I've known for almost 20 years. We've always been close, always best friends, always felt a special connection. Over the years we've loved each other strongly and consistently, but our timing for a relationship has never worked in our favor. We've been in other good relationships, loving ones, some have worked out, some haven't. Now she's married to a good guy and he's a good husband. But life's come a full circle and decided not to make things easy for us. We're now madly in love with each other as well, and it seems like we've always been in a certain way, it just took this long to finally manifest. What does one do in such a situation? Please don't preach the good path before considering that we all have just one life to live. Shouldn't we live it with the person we truly love? If our partners were bad, evil, inattentive, or undeserving, then this would all be an extremely easy choice. Unfortunately we're dealing with a whole lot of really good people here. Sigh...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): “Please don't preach the good path before considering that we all have just one life to live.” Whenever a person does wrong and knows that they have done wrong, they use the line of no moral judgement. I think they think they are justified in hurting, justified in betraying, justified in causing untold devastation in their path of unilateral seeking of so called love and happiness. Bottom line, and i will not preach the good path since i believe it will fall in deaf ears. It is said an affair by any other name is still well, an illicit affair. No matter how much you try to rationalise and even justify your relationship it is still seedy and it is still betrayal. You and this woman want to destroy good people, people who trust you and people who have spent years sharing their lives with you. How do you repay these good decent people- by destroying their very foundation of their lives and happiness.
There is a reason why for 20 years you and this woman did not manage a relationship. Some things are better as pipe dreams and some things are not meant to be. Your romantic association with her, no matter how much you attempt to justify it, does not make it right. Is it now right for her hb, maybe her kids if she has any and hey even for the woman in your life. Your affair at the expense of others ? the drama you have created, the intentional hurt and the effects of the betrayal will rip through the very people you two claim to care and even love. In the end you two will leave a trail of heartache and pain. In the end you two will actually get what you deserve. Something that is born out of betrayal doesn’t have a chance in hell to survive. Yes we have one life to live but when we breath deceit and betrayal this life is not worthy anymore. instead of looking for excuses, looking to justify your affair, look at your morals and your value system, if you do possess it.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (21 October 2009):
 I think everything happens for a reason.
Maybe you and this lady in question do really love each other.
But the issue is she's married to a good man and there's a whole bunch of good people involved as you say.
Is it worth the risk? only you both can decide that. Its your lives.
Life is too short and you should aim to be happy but consider is it worth it at the expense of others?
Your lady in question needs to discuss and be honest with her husband the reasons why she has chosen you over him. If he is a gentleman however hard it is he has to accept and let her come to you if thats what she truly wants in her heart.
Its difficult but as the wise say all good things dont come on the easy track.
Good luck!
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