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male
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anonymous
writes: I am in a gay relationship where there is no sexual activity at all. We have been together for nearly a year and my partner argues that I forced him into having sex with him last year when he didnt want to - which I accept as I have a high sex drive. I have suggested compromises such as sensual massages or just oral sex however my partner has blocked all of these and gets verbal and sometimes physical when we argue over it. What can I do, I love him dearly and don't want to lose him but surely an active sexual relationship should be part of a long term relationship? Please help.
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (1 February 2006):
active sex is not a must for any relationship but i do know how it feels when one of you has a high sex drive and the other feels it's not important. i say it's not a must but it should exist if you want it to. i didn't have sex with my partner for a year because he didn't want to. i could not understand as previously, it was a big part of the relationship. your situation appears to be different though. people are put off if they feel pressured. you need to compromise but let him tell you what he is comfortable with. hopefully you can go on from there and he'll gradually become comfortable with more
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