A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We dated for 1 year and then have been engaged for 3 years.The other day we were having a conversation about life and my fiance turned to me and said to me "I love you so much, that I think I may even die for you."Maybe I am being over analytical here but shouldn't that be a given that you would give your life for your spouse much like a father or mother would give their life for their children if they were in sudden danger.Growing up I was taught that you would give your life to help save someone, be it a family member, friend or a stranger, if they were in harm's way.Just the other day the both of us were crossing a crosswalk and a lady in a van came around the corner too fast and almost hit the both of us. I instinctively put my body in front of his and my hands out to shield him if there was an impact. The lady apologized to us. The morning sunlight was blinding her when she was making her turn.I guess I wanted to hear that he would give up his life for me in a heartbeat to save me as I would for him and not to think he may give up his life.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 September 2012):
 I was taught to be helpful and kind and polite. No one ever said I had to die to help someone else. It wasn't ever really discussed. Maybe he comes from a family where dying for someone else was never discussed or expected?
As to his comment, I would take it as a compliment and appreciate he had that feeling. Second-guessing him as to when he should have that feeling and if it is enough is all rather pointless, really.
You never know what you will do, or what someone else will do, in a state of extreme panic or a severe emergency. Guessing and getting upset about something that hasn't happened and may never happen seems to me to be an exercise in futility. Being angry at him for not throwing himself of the imaginary train... really?
The reality is that most people die of ordinary things. Cancer, heart attacks, old age. Being ill with a chronic disease, having a diagnosis of cancer... those are the situations that will inform you as to a person's character.
Does he show up when he says he will? Does he take care of you when you have the flu? Is he nice to the people around him?
You've been engaged for 3 years? Is part of the question's implied indignation the fact that it's been so long? Are you waiting for something to happen beyond being 'engaged,' in other words, setting a wedding date?
I'd cut the guy some slack and balance this one comment against the 4 years of his being with you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2012):
 I asked my mother once if she was in a row boat with my dad and my brother and me and it over turned who would she save....
I was around 13/14.... imagine my shock (and dismay) when she said "daddy, there's only one of him I can always have more children"
there ya go honey... of course the probability was that she knew my brother and I can swim and my father cannot... who knows...
the thing is... you never know what you will really do until a situation arises....
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (12 September 2012):
 That's a pretty hard and serious thing for someone to say. You are talking about giving your life as if it were a piece of candy someone wants. I think it was a deep thing for him to be feeling and share with you and you are essentially not taking it that way and kind of crapping all over it. Not everyone thinks the way you do, giving up their life in a heartbeat for family, friends etc. most people don't even think in this way. I've never considered if I would die for my sister before. Would I? I can't say for sure so it isn't expected to say everyone would in a heartbeat for someone they love. Just accept that it was a sweet heartfelt comment to you from your fiancée that loves you.
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